Tale of the Red Hat Gnomes- Part 3

(Fire Lotus Tavern -"present" day)--"You messed up the color," said a stranger standing behind me.
--"Mazter! Who iz that?"
--"Never mind this non-recurring character, it is just my Muse returning after leaving me in a lurch for a couple of weeks."
--"Is that some kind of boat?" asked Bov. "Will it sail us back to the Isle of Feinantz and the gnomes?"
--Gerta grinned, "You asked where I was for the past two months of my personal time line, well, I went back to Katya's Koffee Klutch right at the time Mingo, Lyra, and the two gnomes arrived from the Isle of Feinantz!"
--My eyes widened as a memory popped into my head; a memory I would swear was never there before. I looked askance at TimeLord "You are all meddlers aren't you? Even in memories it seems...."
--"I could explain," TimeLord began to say, "But the effect of our journeys on the memory of others was actually a three semester course at Time University."
--"I will tell more about my favorite book later," Kozue/Frida said breathlessly, which was some achievement in and of itself, as most of us require breath to speak. "Tell more of the ztory of the Gnomezez pleaze!"
--"Ok, ok," I acquiesced to the demands of the crowd. "The younger Gerta, or Keeada as she is rightly known, sailed off with Krisskar aboard the great sea turtle Minogame leaving myself, Lyra, Princess Bluebell and Hamster the mage ashore.
--"It was a dark and stormy night. This bothered the gnomes not at all, but Lyra and I, despite wearing hooded cloaks were getting uncomfortable drenched..."
--"I am not a Skance," muttered TimeLord....

 

"Lurch was a very loyal servant, even if he didn't talk much, so I think it is unfair to him to mention your unreliable muze in the same breath as he!", I interjected.

 

"My dear Mingo" I am at a loss as to where time has gone these last two week. Or, is it this last whole month, no it must be the last week. Oh dear, I do not know what has happened to time. Maybe, I am just asleep or maybe I am just awake. I will look behind so I can find the time.

My footprints could be seen in the sand where I was walking. They seem so strange to actually see the past where I just was. Just look, right there, look. Look in the sand . See I was just there and now I am not. Dear Mingo, can you please explain this strangeness that is descending at this time?

I will again face forward and go into time. There it will be known. Time, I am sure will be known. Yes, it must be.............then, again my eyes closed into thoughts.........

 

(Fire Lotus Tavern-present day)--"Where is my present?" LilyByrd demanded.
--"Yeah, you said it was present day...." Cordelayne explained.
--"Now look," I said gruffly, "Do you want to be readers? or characters in this tale?"
--"Yez," Frida nodded with a mischevious grin.
--"Never seen a grin grin before...." blinked CatherineRose. "Much less a mischevious grin....must be some kind of cat."
--" '....dark and stormy night' ??" Bov said, rolling his eyes. "MUST you drag out that old chestnut?"
--Frida reached under the buffet and retrieved Bov's eyes. "Are you undead? Mozt living beingz cannot roll their eyezez under the furniture...."
--"I like chestnuts," TimeLord sighed. "Been a long time..."
--Taking this opportunity while my co characters and/or readers chatted amongst themselves, I perused the logs to refresh my memory.
--" 'cuthiosity' is cooler than 'perused'...." FireAngel observed.

 

Retrieving the glass eyes I keep in my pockets to confuse would-be attackers (it's a great way to disrupt their OODA loop!) and sometimes play a joke on friends I turn to Mingo... "Some of the logs have gone that way" I say, while pointing at the blazing fire in the hearth "so I hope yours are not among them!"

 

Fireangel hums a familiar carol.

 

(Fire Lotus Tavern not in the past not in the future, presents coming for Christmas) -- "....and so to continue with the .....story...." I began
--"not tale?" Frida grinned, letting her real (sharp) teeth show for a second.
--"Yes, well....."
--"Deep subject for a shallow mind," Captain CatherineRose pointed out.
--"I like that tune you are humming," Bov said to FireAngel.
--I decided to just talk and ignore the comments from the peanut gallery.
--"Some people are allergic to peanuts," FireAngel warned.

 

(FireLotus Tavern)--"When I pulled open the heavy wood door," I continued, "A blue shimmer filled the opening, as if I were looking at the reflection of a very blue sky in a very still pond."
--"Continue?" Rentier blinked. "Did I miss something?"
--"I've been telling this story for days it seems...."
--"Only to yourzelf, Mazter. Now you muzt tell uz."
--"Oh. Okay. Lyra, Hamster, Princess BlueBell and I stood in the rain and watched Minogame sail, or swim, away."
--"Purple Unicorn?" Hamster suggested loudly.
--"YES!" Princess BlueBell agreed with excitement.
--"Hamster lead the way away from the stone pier. A small jut of land was close by and we walked around it to find an overly large wooden door embedded in the cliff face ahead of us."

 

(Storytelling in the Fire Lotus Tavern)--I continued speaking to my small circle of friends. "I lead the way, passing through the blue shimmer to find myself in a large room, with a moderately high ceiling. Great wagon wheel shapes hung from the ceiling, adorned with what appeared to be candles, but much brighter. Immediately I found a chest high (edited: was waist high) wooden partition blocking my way."
--"Just push it down with your foot," Hamster advised. "It is hinged at the bottom."
--"Doing so made a bridge across a little trench in the floor. The floor and trench seemed to be constructed of stone, but if so it was poured whille molten,.....or in some other manner conjured. The great room was divided into multiple rectangles, separated by the odd trenches that had wooden....bridges? here and there. Each rectangle was lined on both sides with stone tables. The tables were semi-circular....."
--Here I was interrupted by my apprentice Frida aka Kozue who impatiently asked, "Are you going to drone on about the colour of the wallz and the zmell of the patronz and the kindz of glazzware and what length hair everyone had and the metal from which the zpoons were made...."
--With a semi-irritated glare I answered, "I will NOT be describing Thrones, or games, so not to worry. Excessive verbage to THAT extent is not my style!"
--"I read those books," said CatherineRose. "the author did indeed wax verbose most profusely."
--"So," FireAngel asked, "did the author's cat leave him? "
--"Huh wha?" CatherineRose replied in her best imitation of Mingo TheBard.
--"The cat, Verbose, most cats don't like to be waxed....."
--Bov chuckled, "Well sir Bard I see that much of your vocabulary seems to have been delivered by a big truck. It makes me feel like a cat run over by such a truck."
--"Huh wha?" I said, doing a fair imitation of myself.
--"Semi-impressed."

 

(Mingo drones on in the Fire Lotus Tavern)--"cat....semi impressed...." I pondered aloud.
--"Ponder later, story tell now," Demanded FireAngel.
--"ah well, Hamster took the lead and trotted across the first rectangle, over another of the hinged bridges and turned right towards the end of the center rectangle. Here I noticed something unusual. There were no patrons. There were no waiters. Yet, dishes and cups moved atop the tables, and down the various depressed paths in the floor, trays seemingly floated by themselves.
--"I have an uneasy feeling about this..." Lyra muttered.
--Rentier, maker of dyes, lurked in the background.
--I continued my description of the Purple Unicorn, "The center rectangle was 'T' shaped at the end, and the floor had been painted purple. All the tables at this end faced a trough in the floor (along the top of the 'T') and beyond this trough was a slightly raised stage. My ears tickled, almost hearing something just as I imagined I saw....things...at the tables and moving down the troughs in the floor....
--Princess BlueBell was first to hop up onto one of the stone tables, followed by Hamster. They caused miniature tables and seats to rise from the surface of the table, gnome sized. "If you would," the Princess said to Lyra and myself, "take the seats against the low wall at the edge of the serving pathway." Lyra and I thus sat across from each other at the corners of the semi-circular table. The Princess and Hamster sat at what you might call the head of the table.
--"I am happy to see you also!" announced Princess BlueBell, seemingly to no one. "Please make my friends welcome here, they are Captain Lyra of the good ship PossumRose and the Master Bard, Mingo. Lyra, Mingo, please raise your hands a bit and follow where you are lead..."
--I raised my hands, and the one nearest the 'serving trough' as the Princess called it was seized gently by an overly large, yet seemingly feminine set of fingers and lifted up until I touched something made of bone, as large as my wrist...and what seemed to be a strand of hair brushed against my arm.

 

(Storytelling at the Fire Lotus Tavern)--"Are you talking to us? Or are you narrating?" Bov asked.
--"Huh wha?" I again did my best imitation of myself.
--"When you talk to us, you use quote marks. When you narrate you don't. COULD you be consistent?"
--"You could have just edited your post you know," Gerta, who had joined our circle after returning from her....trip....to the past remarked.
--"Mazter is too lazy to do much editing," smirked my apprentice Frida with laughter in her eyezez....oh gawd now I'm doing it...
--"Zee! Juzt like I zaid!" Frida smirked.

 

(discussing editorial style in the Fire Lotus Tavern) --"Alright! Alright already!" I said raising both hands. "Heretofore the style shall be 1) quotes when I speak to an individual 2) no quotes when speaking to the group as a whole."
--"We are holes?" Bov said misunderstanding as he sometimes did.
--"Holy?" inquired CatherineRose
--"Heretofore?" blinked FireAngel.
--"If i dye my hair blue, will I look like Smurfette?" chimed in Frida
--"Smirkette perhaps...." I could not resist....
--"You were speaking to us all in the first sentence," Captain CatherineRose said, "yet you used quote marks."
--I could have cried, or screamed or something. "Okay a revision then. When telling a story of the past, quote marks shall only be used in recounting actual conversation, not general narration. When speaking here, in the present...don't say it TimeLord!....there will be quote marks, like here, see? this thing, the little slashes up high on the line...."

 

(narrating an old tale to my friends in the Fire Lotus Tavern, without quotes unless actually quoting conversation or speaking in the present day or something.....now I'm confused)--"you changed your name to 'Confused' ?" Bov asked
--"no" I answered with quotes. "I shall continue my narration.....
(In the Purple Unicorn, long ago)--Suddenly my ears were assaulted by the sounds of a tavern, patrons talking and laughing, dishware clinking, music coming from the stage....and the clattering of hooves on the hard surface of the troughs between the tables. I looked at where my hand was and saw I was touching the horn of a unicorn....or was it a centaur?
--"Your friends are now most welcome, Princess," said the unicorn/centaur in a clear feminine voice that while alto pitched, seemed to rumble from within her torso. She released my hand without looking at me with her large, glowing light violet eyes. The movement of her lips did not seem to correspond to her words, and I sensed that a magic translation spell was in effect in this place.
--"Welcome Captain," she said to Lyra, then turning to me she said, "Welcome Master Bard. Perhaps you will honor us with a song later on."
--Besides her large violet eyes, her hair was a darker sheen, purple actually. Her hair grew not only from her head, but seemed to sprout profusely all down the bare back of the torso of her human portion. As for her...other half, a horse's body complete with tail that matched her hair, it was covered with short fur, lighter in color than her...mane? She was carried by hooves painted the same pink as her fingernail polish. "You may call me Pink," she advised us. "We are most honored to have the Princess (she bowed slightly) and her party visit us at the Purple Unicorn. What will you have to drink?"
--I stared and blinked. Even standing in the serving passageway, a trough in the floor, her head was slightly higher than mine. Her bare arms were lightly muscled yet I suspected with strength beyond that of a human. Covering the front of her human torso from neck to ...knees I guess.. was a light pink apron adorned with a drawn outline of a unicorn's head, a regular horse-headed unicorn that is. No other clothing adorned her obviously female form....if she ever had foals they would certainly be well-fed I thought.
--Another unicorn passed by. I saw that the trench was wide enough for two to pass. The other one was holding a tray and I noticed bright blue fingernail polish which was on her hooves as well. Otherwise the two could have been twins. I noticed that the serving trench was a bit wider at the tables than where the bridges crossed, so our waitress could turn completely to face us. --"Bourbon on the Rocks," Hamster said. "Oops sorry your Highness, after you!"
--"Hee hee," Princess BlueBell laughed. "This is rare, getting some respect from Master Hamster!"
--"It's your daddy's' table princess...." Hamster grumbled under his breath.
--"Citrine and lemon if you please Pink," BlueBell ordered.
--"What kind of rocks, Master Hamster?" Pink asked.
--"Rose Quartz please."
--"Um," Lyra stuttered as Pink turned her way with a fetching smile and a nod. "Hot chocolate if you have that."
--"We have everything!" Pink said proudly waving an arm. "All recipes from all creatures in the MetaVerse are in our library! Even (she said with a wink) the famous Rose Petal Koffee Kake from Lyra, developed at Katya's Koffee Klutch!"
--"You know about that?" Lyra said in wonderment.
--Pink winked. "It is quite popular here! Perhaps we shall share a recipe with you, if Master Bard will sing later."
--I felt trapped. Looking at the patrons populating The Purple Unicorn, I wondered what song would be suitable....

 

(part of a story of long ago, in the Purple Unicorn)--"And you Master Bard?" our waitress asked, staring at me with those glowing, friendly violet eyes. Two eyes...that reminded me of a purple haired lass I loved long ago, but she was a cyclops.
--"On Old Earth, there was a drink called 'Iced tea' sometimes called 'Sweet Tea'...."
--"I know it sweet heart," Pink the centaur unicorn seemed to have developed a Southern drawl all of a sudden, but I knew it was the artificially intelligent translation spell. "Of course we have that! I'll be back in a jiffy ya'll."
--" 'Yawl' ?" Captain Lyra asked me somewhat puzzled.
--"No, not the watercraft, it is a Southern abbreviation of 'you all' but some people spell it y'all. I spell it correctly."
--"Sweeet tea?" Princess BlueBell said to me making some polite conversation. "Do you put rock candy in it?"
--"Sa weet tea, I believe is the proper way to pronounce it," Hamster butted in.
--"Rock Candy eh?" I mused, "it would take a long time to melt, even though the sugar is put in while the tea is hot and freshly brewed. Some people on Old Earth, Orientals from the far East and Russians, think it is an abomination....far too sweet for their tastes."
--"I like Rock Candy," princess BlueBell said with a smile. "I think I will have that for desert."
--"What is good to eat here?" Lyra asked. "We were not given menus."
--Hamster cackled, but did not lay an egg. "There are no menus because the kitchen here can prepare anything, absolutely anything that you have ever eaten!"
--"When Pink returns, just think of something you have had in the past that you would like to eat here," Princess Bluebell explained. "And Mingo my dear, you don't have to write 'Princess' every time!"
--"Why thank you Your Highness. Although I am usually paid by the word...."
--"You're working for free, here Mingo," Lyra pointed out. "Pro Bono so to speak."
--"You are a professional skeleton?" Hamster said jokingly.
--"Indeed," I answered absent mindedly, for my attention had just been caught by a couple who sat down at the adjacent table in the royal section of The Purple Unicorn.

 

(part of a story of long ago, in the Purple Unicorn)--At the adjacent table three figures took seats. In the positions of honor sat a woman who seemed almost human, save for pointed ears and eyes with reptilian pupils. Long curls of ebon tresses flowed around her shoulders and down to her waist. Her male companion was a satyr, with small antlers. He seemed quite jovial and animated.
--The third person sat with an empty chair between herself and the satyr, facing me across the two tables. My eyes met hers. Wine Red they were; the color of currents in an English garden. I was so entranced by her gaze I hardly noticed the diaphonous gown she wore, which revealed scanty undergarments of a color that matched her eyes.
--Suddenly Princess BlueBell was standing before me and slapped my jaw with her tiny, rock hard hand. "Ow!" I said. Then with some magic incantation she caused a shimmering shield to appear before me, making it hard to see the lady at the next table.
--"Beware Mingo!" BlueBell admonished me. "You almost fell under the spell of a Leanan Sidhe!"
--"What?" I asked rubbing my jawbone and wondering if it was fractured.
--"A fairy that seeks to drain the life force from creative artists, such as writers and musicians. In return she grants the power of being their Muse and making their works remarkably good. This particular fairy was the Muse of the late Robert Asprin, one of my favorite authors."
--"You can read?" Hamster sarcastically commented. "Will wonders never cease."
--Suddenly I was aware of the Leanan Sidhe lady floating at my shoulder. "I can help you with your writing," she whispered seductively. "You have boundless life energy....I would only take a little."
--Then the lovely fairy lady was interrupted by the other lady in her party who took hold of her arm and pushed her back to their table. "I apologize for my guest," the lady said to Princess BlueBell. "She is still in mourning for her late human....and seeking another."
--To my surprise Princess BlueBell stood before this lady and curtsied. "Thank you your majesty. May I introduce my guests? This is Master Bard Mingo and Captain Lyra." Then to us BlueBell said, "We are in the presence of Titania, Queen of the Fae, although she has many names."
--Lyra and I had the sense to rise and bow/curtsey. "Honored your majesty," I said.
--"Unless you choose, my dear Bard," Titania said as she headed back to her table, "my wayward daughter will bother you no more. Although you might consider her offer."
(Back in the Fire Lotus Tavern) --"Well Mazter," said my apprentice sadly, "It iz too bad you turned her down. You could have been an outztanding writer! Maybe even a decent zinger.....although you ARE fairly good."
--"Damn me with faint praise why don't you?" I replied. "You don't think I looked her up later?"
--"Based on what we have read here," FireAngel commented, "It appears not. You're no Robert Asprin."
--"I did live in New Orleans three years..." I muttered.

 

(The Purple Unicorn Tavern and Restaurant....long ago)--Our drinks were served just as the house lights dimmed and a spotlight appeared around a large floor harp on the stage in front of us. Being in the Royal section we had front row seats. Behind the harp shadowy figures in the gloom gathered, sporting an array of musical instruments.
--Then a unicorn centaur lady, her purple hair streaked with white appeared. Her frilly white apron, so to speak, resembled a slim hoop skirt with ruffled elbow length sleeves. White fingernail polish adorned her fingers, which were six on each hand, as well as her hooves. She bowed to thunderous applause then took a sitting position behind the floor harp....sitting as a horse would sit that is.
--"Anwyn," whispered princess BlueBell to us. Then the lady began to speak.
--"Hear good gentles how a brave man became a fearless man!" she began in a loud enchanting voice. "From the writings of that great bard, Lord Tennison, hear now the Ballad of Oriana!"
--"I know that song!" I whispered at our table.
--Strumming the great harp, the lady began to sing, accompanied by her unseen orchestra.
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?...446F3D3227AB6C4D89DF446F3D3227AB&&FORM=VRDGAR

 

Note to readers: a youtube video I used some pages back (page 3) has been deleted from youtube. Please if you come across this video let me know. It is "Hatsune Miku" and I used the video in the description of the Apsara. There is first the video of Hatsune Miku learning to fly, then a video where she appears in miniature in someone's room. then a 3rd video which didn't work and is probably why the original poster deleted it.

 

(In the Purple Unicorn long ago)--Following the thunderous applause at the end of the song, the quite regal lady unicorn/centaur walked down a ramp at the end of the stage to the service depression running between the stage and the "royal" section. Only two tables of the six were occupied. She chatted with Tatania and Oberon for a bit, then moved down to our table. Hamster and BlueBell stood and bowed, so Lyra and I followed suit.
--"Oh please," Anwyn smiled with a wave of her hand, "Thou needenst be so formal."
--"My daddy would kill me, your majesty," grinned Princess BlueBell. "May I introduce Master Bard Mingo and Captain Lyra? You know Hamster already."
--This lady, with the white streaks in her purple hair, seemed a bit larger than the service "girls". She extended her hand to Lyra. "Well met, Captain. Pray tell the name of your ship?"
--"PossumRose, your majesty," Lyra answered
--"Anwyn will do fine, please." turning to me she made a rather odd request. "Good sir bard, may I touch your head?"
--I stood somewhat dumbfounded and just nodded. Slowly she lowered her head until her horn, which was actually only about four inches long, not what you see in artist's renderings, touched my forehead. "You wrote it!" she exclaimed with a happy smile.
--"Huh wha?" I responded with my patented trademarked comment.
--"I have sung your lullaby to children, grandchildren, and now great-grandchildren!" she exclaimed. "It works exceedingly well."
--" 'Lament of the Elf King'(c) ?" I inquired.
--Nodding happily she answered, "Just so. I knew him too, you might be interested to know. Ah I could tell you tales..." (I bit my tongue when she said this, but Hamster the Insane almost got out: "You have..." when BlueBell elbowed him sharply in the ribs) "....about those times. It took a long time until I could sing your song without crying."
--"He was my friend, and the only King I ever served," I reminisced with a sad smile. "I have always wanted to hear that lullaby sung by a lady, perhaps two ladies as there is a small second voice part that is rarely sung."
--"Here is a deal for thee, then," Anwyn smiled a mischevious smile. "You play your lute and two of my grand daughters will sing it."
--"Done!" I exclaimed gladly.
--(note to readers: Various sites, such as this one have....complicated...terms and conditions one must agree to when publishing here. Therefore, I shall not tell the words to "Lament of the Elf King" (c) which actually IS copyrighted. However, if you will communicate to me an email address, I will give you a copy, in .pdf format, for your personal, non commercial use)

 

(In the Fire Lotus Tavern, Present.....er uh now, more or less, at least on my personal time line)--"I have a queztion Mazter," Frida said. "I am zure all the otherzez do too, although they zeem quite zilent this past week."
--"As long as you don't smirk, proceed,"
--"yezzzzz, I have never heard of unicorn centaurz, and thiz one sez she had been old Old Earth in the pazt. Unicornz are in bookzez; centaurz are in bookzez, but no one ever wrote about a unicorn/centaur."
--"I have a theory about that, as it has also come to my mind," I said congratulating my apprentice on thinking like me. "When she touched her horn to my head, obviously she was able to telepathically read my mind. I am thinking now that these....people....could also possibly erase memories."
--"We have unicorns here in Novia," Rentier said, "But I do not think they are even sentient."
--"...not friendly either," FireAngel added.
--"Now I am wondering about male unicorn/centaurs," I said thoughtfully. "I don't remember asking or being told anything about them."
--"They might not be unicorns, just centaurs," CatherineRose observed.
--"Maybe I will return to the Purple Unicorn some day...." I said.
--"SomeDay..." a voice in my memory echoed....

 

(Dinner in the Purple Unicorn)--Our waitress, Pink, stood patiently holding a silver tray with our food. The wise queen of the Centaur/Unicorns, Anwyn noticed her right away and bid us farewell. "After you eat, good Sir Bard, we shall perform your song!" We all made bows as she regally walked on.
--"Food!" Pink exclaimed, placing the large tray on our table.
--"But, but we didn't order!" Lyra said blinking in awe at the food, which was....exactly what she wanted...
--"Ah, but you did!" winked Pink with her violet eyes. "Blackened Fish with spiced rice and broccoli for the good Captain, Shepherd's pie for the Master Bard, and a selection of sea fossils embedded in limestone for the Princess.
--"And for me?" Hamster stared at a small covered platter. "I was thinking of coal, unfortunately."
--"Coal?" I was a bit incredulous.
--"Coal with coal oil!" proclaimed Pink proudly removing the lid.
--"Ahhh, wonderful!" Hamster rubbed his hands in glee.
--"Coal?" I repeated.
--"We ordered?" Lyra was still befuddled.
--"I like coal, but coal doesn't like me, if you get my drift. But I really really like coal," Hamster said.
--"It gives him heartburn," explained BlueBell.