Tale of the Red Hat Gnomes - Part 2

(Beneath the Isle of Feinantz) --"Arnold my lad," RockSide said to one of his squad. "Tunnel east about thirty feet, then head north will you?"
--Although RockSide made it sound like a request, his squad was used to his style of command, and would jump to his orders even more readily than if he had barked like a Drill Sergeant. "Ja, boss," the stalwart giant of a Gnome (14 inches high!) replied as he began casting the tunneling spell.
--"We aren't here," grinned MrsPeel.
--"....and we won't be there!" responded the rest of the squad.
--"But we are, and we will be!" RockSide said in a loud voice. Finishing what had become over the years the motto of his little band. With raised spirits they proceeded into the new tunnel, being made at an astonishing rate by the mighty Arnold.
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--Not far away, as the crow flies....that is, if crows could fly through rock....Hamster took first shift making a tunnel for the Blue Hat party and guests. "Hurry please," Shania begged, "...got...to escape....the music....!" Fortunately the music spell faded behind them.
--Back in the throne chamber of King Dohlar, the King asked FourCasser: "What chance do they have?"
--The bespectacled Gnome threw a multi sided die and answered: "The odds are good!"
-------
(In the Fire Lotus Tavern) Mig was gleeful at the introduction of MrsPeel. "She MUST have a British accent!" Mig insisted.
---"Hmmm," I blinked...."I don't actually speak British English. What would she say?"

 

(In the Red Hat tunnel) --RockSide's band literally ran following the mighty Arnold as he magically tunneled onward. MrSpock studied a hemispherical crystal which he held out in front of him. A bllinking light on the edge of the crystal, the edge towards the right side of the tunnel worried him.
--"Captain!" cried MrSpock, "My sensors indicate he Blue Hats are not far off from us!"
--RockSide dropped back to run alongside MrSpock, and observed the crystal indicator. He observed the time between blinks, which indicated distance, and noticed the blinking spot was slightly aft of their position. "Perhaps we will be faster than them," RockSide said. "Arnold! I will tunnel for a bit now!"

(In the Blue Hat Tunnel) I noticed we seemed to be traveling at a faster rate than our walking speed would account for. "Something is odd here," I said to BlueBell as she ran along, surprisingly fast and light on her little feet. "Are we going faster than we are?"
--"That's insane!" answered BlueBell. "And, yes, we are! GrandMaster Hamster has a way with tunneling that seems to pull us along. I can't do it, and it just happens when he tunnels. He can't explain it himself!"
--Krisskar noticed a blinking light on his staff. Tapping it a few times he extended it horizontally and oriented it to a point slightly ahead and to the left. He said nothing, but the others in the party noticed....


--

 

(In the FireLotus Tavern) --" 'He can't explain it himself!' " Mig quoted with a querulous expression. "That sounds like something a lazy author bereft of ideas would say."
--"Harrumph!" I harrumphed. "Please my friend, let us have LITTLE mystery!"
--Groans erupted around the table. Gerta, bringing out another pot of koffee snickered, " "LITTLE' mystery! Hee hee!"
--On a more thoughtful note, Gabriel asked about RockSide. "You speak almost fondly of the Red Hat squad leader, RockSide. Why is that?"
--Sitting back in my chair and taking a sip of the fresh koffee my memories drifted to me from over the years. "RockSide, ah yes," I began reminiscing. "RockSide wasn't the best fighter, or the most powerful at spells. He wasn't the smartest in the group, and in fact each member of his squad had some attribute which outshone his own.
--"Yet," I continued, "RockSide had a leadership skill rarely found in any sentient group. Not only did he know what he wanted, and what he was doing, he knew the strengths of his team members, and how to deploy them. In his way he was a skilled craftsman able to use a variety of tools, so to speak."
--"You knew him, didn't you?" Bov suspected.
--"Later, yes," I nodded. "but that is another story altogether."
--"TEASER!" shouted Gerta with a fetching wiggle.
--Continuing about RockSide I added, "His leadership style was disrespected amongst most of his folk, for he did not growl and snap like an Alpha wolf, nor did he bark out orders like a drill sergeant. His own superiors disliked the way he barely tolerated hierarchical structure. Yet there were those, usually of a higher than normal intelligence and drive, who would for this gnome, charge into the Unknown, for their faith in his competence and intelligence gave them the underpinning to do so.
--"None of the squad, including RockSide," I concluded, "Concerned themselves with 'WHY?' in carrying out their missions; even though they had little faith in the leaders of their nation."
--"Patriots," BlacqueRogue nodded.
--The little TimeLord murmured, "He knew what he wanted AND what he was doing! I would happily follow a leader who had even ONE of those qualities! Few have I found that did so."

 

(In the Blue Hat tunnel) --"Say, Bluebell," Terra asked as she walked rapidly along. "I want to ask you something."
--"Ask away!" said the princess brightly.
--"Just before we started this tunnel, we passed a kind of alcove, with a small brick house in it....what was that?"
--BlueBell blushed a bit...... then answered. "Well, you know we eat rocks right?"
--"yes," nodded Terra
--"Well," BlueBell hesitated, attempting to put the subject into delicate terms. "Our digestive process includes not only eating, but elimination as well, although it is vastly different...."
--"you mean?"
--"Yes," nodded BlueBell. "What you saw was an actual brick ......."
--"BlueBell!" Hamster called back from the front of the tunnel. "A little decorum, if you please!"
--Mollified, BlueBell left off the end of her statement and blushed again.

 

*facepalms*

 

(In the Red Hat Tunnel) --RockSide paced along beside Napoleon, a bespectacled gnome of ancient years. Napoleon said little and was only a fair magician, but he had the keenest mind RockSide had found when it came to Tactics.
--"Napoleon, what is your tactical assessment?" RockSide asked.
--Although his personality was the antithesis of RockSide's Director style, the Amicable Gnome had great respect for his Captain, and was always pleased to be recognized for his technical skills. "We will be attacked," he said with certainty. "If we reach the target first, we will gain one more mage for our side. If we turn and attack the Blues now, we do not know their strength, despite Spock's sensors. I would say, however, that the most likely scenario is the Blues will tunnel over behind us and attack. I recommend laying traps; not right now, but as soon as Spock tells us they are changing course towards our tunnel."
---------
(In the Fire Lotus Tavern) --Few were the listeners to my story these days; yet I seemed to hear Lord Baldrith's voice asking, "See here, Mingo, these names of gnomes seem uncharacteristic, and you weren't there. How do you know all this?"
--With a smile of remembrance I answered, "Caught me old chum! Years later, when RockSide recounted his side of these events, he told me the actual names, but I have forgotten them. Alas, I made no notes. So I am pulling out names from the dreams of my RL Avatar that seem to fit the various squad members personalities."
--I tired of story telling and rose to take a walk through Owl's Head....but each time I opened the door to step out, I found myself transported right back to my seat at the table. Over and over I tried.....

 

Time Lord had a sly grin on his face.

"Cousin, you must not leave until you tell us more of the story....", he said.

Chariya elbowed him.

"That wasn't a very nice thing to do, dear!", she said. "Sorry, Mingo!"

 

(In the fire lotus tavern) ---Time after time I try to get through the door to Owl's Head. Each time I am rebuffed and find myself back at my starting place at the table. Eventually I give up. "(Guess I wont' be getting that collector's hat.)" I sigh.

 

(Evening in the FireLotus Tavern) --few patrons remained as they, unlike I, had the ability to get to the village of Owl's Head while I was stuck in the tavern. Softly I played a few melodies, hoping not to disturb the few remaining folksies. Then as the hour grew late I retired to my room on the second floor.
--Opening the window to the cool late September evening I pulled up the rocking chair and gazed outward. No wind stirred on this cloudless night, leaving the sparse curtains hanging motionless save for the small breeze generated by my rocking to and fro. I looked southward and watched the twin constellations of the rabbit's ears pass slowly across the sky, low on the horizon.
--Then in my mind came unbidden the memory of screams that sent a shiver to my soul. It was the ocean screaming that I remembered; a sound of which I shall never compose a story or song. The ocean screamed that night, that one night, that I remembered.....perhaps I will leave out that part when the time comes. With that grim thought I knew this would be a sleepless night for me, for I dared not....perchance to dream.
--So as I rocked I tried with desperation to remember happier times; friends, comrades.....few there were and difficult to bring to mind it seemed. The streetlights flickered and died as the Tesla tower suffered some kind of problem, making the stars easier to see. Now the fainter stars showed up, and I could identify a constellation I always called the harp high up in the sky. My own harp I used only in battle, never for regular music.
--Then it struck me. Times had changed. There might be no place for Battle Bards in this new arrangement of the world. Perhaps I would never get through the door, no matter how much I RAMmed. What then, for me? I rocked, and I remembered.....the ocean screamed.

 

The lady nodded with some shared emotion as she noted Mingo's switch from tales of rock expertise to his rocking chair. She had been in New Britannia a few times of late, though less enthusiastically than at other times. There had been some confusion in search of the referred to hat, which had not surprised her, being directionally challenged. To her highest consternation she had dealt with the visual poison effect that OneandOnly found amusing in that forming realm on each of the ventures she took there, and she had wearied of the 'joke'.

Fireangel had peered in on Mingo's musing mostly from the earthly realm, as she now frequented neither New Britannia or the Nuian continent she had discovered in the last months. It was another early morning or late night for her; she no longer tried to sort out times, as they seemed to blend. She sat in the semi-darkness and smiled at Mingo's words that traveled from his heart with his tales.

Her house was empty again, and instead of a person, she had found a note. The lady accepted this with a mild surprise and a shrug. She had wadded the note and tossed it into the trash with a dismissive shake of her head. The earthly realm had been strange for most of her life, and that was the reason for time traveling. Perhaps she would find another place to go, but perhaps not this time.

In her mind, she affectionately patted Mingo on his arm, and blessed him for a nice story, as always.

 

(In a second floor room of the fire Lotus Tavern) --Gray was the early morning light. Like a solid fog bank high in the sky,the clouds obscured the sun. It might have been dawn, or mid day; I could not tell. To my surprise I lay atop the bed, and apparently I had collapsed there from exhaustion, not true sleep.
--During the night a soft rain must have fallen, for the floor by the open window was wet and the curtains damp. I shut the window. The dream had passed; the memory of the screaming ocean no longer filled my mind. I made use of the chamber pot, then splashed some water on my face from the pitcher and bowl atop the poor dresser in my room.
--There was a time, I recalled, when I lived in the night, abhorring the day. I worked, doing what I can't recall, and later would frequent a small grill that stayed open all day and night, every day. The food was good, simple, greasy. Even the ice cream was greasy. Those little sugar cubes, wrapped in paper which one puts into Koffee, they were greasy. Rumor had it that the fried potatoes and onions were neither onions nor potatoes, rather some product of spontaneous generation within the fryers.
--It was good food.
--Others frequented this place in the wee hours of the morning. Most were nefarious denizens of the large city, often nearly unconscious due to having imbibed various substances. The place was never full, and the manager didn't run them off as long as they bought a cup of Koffee or something from time to time. It was an accepting place, where no one spoke, and I was accepted as just another being, passing in the night. I miss it.
--Leaving after my meal I would walk the few blocks to my place of residence. Back then I wasn't as handsome as i am today.....people seeing me coming would cross the street to walk down the other side. Solitude was my friend. Only late in life have I come to enjoy the company of others, and a word of conversation or two. Sometimes I get to hear small children laughing, and it brightens my heart.
--Opening the door to my room I ventured down to the main hall of the tavern, to see if any were interested in hearing more of the story...and to find Koffee.

 

Bodhbh was already up and greeted Mingo solemly... Sé do Bheata mo chara Mingo! I see you've rested a bit, if not suffiently... I hope you will recover full health soon, as I am not yet tiring of your tales... I never heard of gnomes warping the space-time continuum while tunneling before, but it would explain some of the Leprechaun tricks I witnessed in my years!

Have some breakfast, I have plenty food here, and a full can of Koffee, which I don't even drink!...

 

(In the Fire Lotus tavern) --Bov and the usual half dozen or so had gathered to hear of the coming Battle of the Gnomes. After a sparse breakfast served by Gerta I got out my pipe, then looked at it and decided it was too early in the day for smoking. So I leaned forward, my elbows on the large table and interlocked my fingers, and began.
-------
(In the Blue Hat Tunnel) Hamster stopped tunneling and turned to Jeb. "We are going to make a feint, Battlemaster! BlueBell!" he called to his apprentice, "continuing tunniling north, Jeb and I shall catch up soon."
--With a maniacal laugh almost as insane as Hamster, Princess BlueBell began casting the tunneling spell. Cast. run, Cast.....over and over. Hamster turned to the left side of the tunnel and began a connecting tube to intercept the Red Hat tunnel.
--In the Red Hat Tunnel, MrSpock observed his crystal. "Captain! The Blues have split their forces! A small contingent now heads toward our tunnel, behind us."
--"A variation on the tactic I anticipated," nodded Napoleon. "It is time to set some traps, RockSide my boy."
--Calling upon his only Moon Magic Rogue, Dracula, RockSide instructed that traps be set. Then RockSide sent Napoleon forward to tunnel, slowly, as the tactician was not particularly suited to battle.
--Hamster tunneled into the Red Hat trail and turned to Jeb Stuart. "Get out that bowling ball you were given, let's make a little mischief!!"
--Jeb pulled the ball, about the same diameter as a Gnome's height and inserted his fingers and thumb into the three holes. He held it before him in the palm of his left hand while Hamster mumbled some spell or other making the ball vibrate, sending a tingling up Jeb's arms. "Let fly my friend!" Hamster instructed, at which Jeb with a mighty underhanded swing of his mighty arm rolled the ball at prodigious speed towards the Red Hat Gnomes.
--Quickly Hamster called out some spell that sealed the Red Hat Tunnel and with a maniacal laugh yelled "Flee!"
--"I don't have fleas," Jeb began to say, but then decided to follow the fast running Gnome back toward the Blue Hat Tunnel.
--"INCOMING!" shouted MrSpock watching his sensor crystal, just before the ball bowled over the Gnomes like so many tenpens. No real damage was done, although Arnold swore prodigiously upon being smacked up against the end of the tunnel wall.
--"Odd," said Napoleon, picking himself up. "A seemingly pointless attack, if it can be called an attack."
--"They have retreated from behind us, Captain," said MrSpock observing his crystal. "The main party of Blues is now abreast of us."
--With a suspicioous shake of his head, RockSide took the lead once again, and cast the tunneling spell. Unexpectedly, the spell went not forward, but up, through the seabed to the water overhead. Salt water flooded the gnomes quickly and the red light that pervaded their tunnel did little to pierce the murky water.
--Immersion in water itself is harmless to Gnomes, as they only breathe for making conversation, not as a necessity of their magical, golem like life. Shaking his head, Napoleon knew immediately they had been beset by Chaos Magic, not one of the regular eight schools, and difficult to control. This gave him information about at least one of the Blue Hats, that he must be powerful indeed.
--Shaking his head, RockSide was happy to see MrsPeel lighting up the tunnel with Sun magic. She then formed a plug in the hole over head, with a hole in it upon which rested a flat expanse of newly formed stone. Arnold began to heat the water with Fire Magic, causing it to boil and send steam upwards. The Gnomes were impervious to steam, as they could withstand the heat of even lava.
--As the steam rose it evaporated some of the water, until the pressure equaled that of the sea, and the flat stone sealed the hole. It was now possible to talk.
--"Impressive," said MrSpock.
--"My hair is wet!" complained MrsPeel. "I'm going to get someone for this!"
--"The Blues have pulled ahead of us, Captain," reported MrSpock.

 

(In the Fire Lotus tavern) --Serious the tavern cat meowed plaintively demanding someone feed her. Chariya bless her soul put down some cat food for the little black and white beast, who purred loudly in appreciation. "I would like to see penguins," said Chariya. "Where is this village of Writer's Ink wherein is found Katya's Koffee Klutch?"
--I pondered the question. "Perhaps it is, or will be, as I see on the menu Player Cities," I said looking at the menu.
--"Krisskar," FireAngel spoke up. "Krisskar was once mayor of a player city, you said."
--"Yes," I nodded. "In a different part of the metaverse." Then a fond memory came to me, of a memorial garden in the city of Tuskn Flat, dedicated to RockBottom the Bard, Raider of Valor in old Sosaria. 9/11 lay in the distant past yet still I remembered my friend. Far did he fall that fateful day. I hope against hope that he fell quickly unlike so many who suffered a lingering death.
--Martin, Martin Giovinazzo......he was my friend.

 

Bodhbh raises his glas "Sláinte! To the memory of all friends that we are missing, either due to distance or because they've awoken from the Dream!"

 

(In the Fire Lotus Tavern) "It is time," I told the small assembled group, "to try and recreate for you a most peculiar battle." I settled back in my chair, steepling my fingers before my chest and began. "True I was there, but my own recollection has been augmented by the recounting of what happened by not only my comrades, but later, by RockSide, my adversary of the momentous occasion."
(In tunnels below the coast) --Shader the mage could feel his magical reservoir slowly recharging. He now sat in a bubble of the remnants of what once was a tunnel from the Guaca Desert to the Isle of Feinantz, now collapsed. Yet, he sensed magical energies coming toward him; so he sat with his back against the one foot high chest of gold acorns and awaited what might come.
--Hamster and BlueBell had tunneled far ahead of the Red Hats, and angled now toward the golden acorns, guided by Krisskar's direction finding wand.
(In the fire Lotus Tavern) --"I am sorry my friends," I said as a message was handed to me from a smiling courior. "Someone named Abigail Faith has appeared in the RL realm of my avatar, and her father has offered a cigar to not only my grandfather X 4 avatar, but it seems one has been sent to me as well!"
--"Oh Well," FireAngel smiled, "I suppose a little tradition won't break the immersion!"

 

(Tale telling in the Fire Lotus Tavern, cont.) --"Good cigar," I murmured with a smile. "Ah yes, the battle of the tunnel. It went badly for us at first....."
(In the tunnel) --Hamster broke through to the bubble where Shader the low level Red Hat Mage sat with the gold acorns. Before Shader could ascertain who had come Krisskar hit him with a Death Spell. Now...."
(Fire Lotus Tavern) --"Ascertained?" Gerta blinked in perplexity. "He ascertained?"
--"Almost," I nodded. "When he finally did it was too late for him."
--Ariella made notes on a page titled: "The Risk of Writing Above the Sixth Grade Level"
--"Some words dear Dark Elf, while not used in verbal communication, lend themselves readily to the written word," I mentioned in a mentor type way.
--"I ascertained that," nodded Ariella.
--Chariya chuckled, "Couthiosity, Winsome, Ascertained....what an education it is to listen to these tales!"
--Serious, on cue, twitched her tail and meowed.

 

The lady was bemused. "I smoke an occasional cigar myself, but don't tell anyone. People do have odd hang-ups about the simplest pleasure of others." Fireangel winked, and showed Mingo a humidor with her earthly husband's cigars, and pointed out the Arturo Fuente Hemingway Short Story. "I like those, but only in rare moments, probably once every two years or something. I'll have one with a glass of Port." She eyed her Port. "Well, I have Port much more often, as anyone who knows me can attest. Port helps with cholesterol levels, you know. I have a little every evening, if I can."

 

"I don't like smoking myself", Bohbh confides, "but I have no issues with other people smoking... Especially pipe-tobacco's can have a very pleasant soothing smell about them!" He takes another sip of his dark stout, raises it up and says, "Then again, I know this isn't for everyone either! To each their own, right?" and grins: "Sláinte!"

 

(Fire Lotus Tavern) --"Moving right along...." I said in an attempt to continue....
--"you are not moving," puzzled the youthful Time Lord. "you are just sitting there."
--Chariya elbowed him in the ribs. "Shhhh!"
--Bov with a pleading look in his eye waved cigar smoke away from his general vicinity and half coughed, half said, "Pray, dear Bard, ahec ahec, continue!"
--and so.....
(In the tunnels) Krisskar's Death spell did not work as Gnomes are actually Golem Life....animated yes, but not truly alive in the fleshy sense. However the spell caused a thin layer of Shader's surface to be pulverized, enshrouding him in a small dust cloud.
(Fire Lotus Tavern...) "Enshrouding?" asked FireAngel. "Like the Shroud of Turin?"
--"No," I answered.
--"I sometimes wear a cape when touring," Gabriel chipped in adding to the moment of tangential conversation, "but I wouldn't call it a Shroud."
--"Are we reading or talking?" Ariella frowned, polishing a dagger.
--"Yes," I answered.