Tale of the Red Hat Gnomes - Part I

(In the Fire Lotus Tavern) --Jivalax, who had not been heard from in some time, now commented dubiously to me, "Ahem, these Blue Hat Gnomes," he began haltingly, "What are they? What is their back story?"
--Blaquerogue chimed in, "Yes, Mingo, they seem rather mysterious."
--"Tut, tut," I tutted. "It's all there in the Prologue to Part II !"
--"There where?" asked FireAngel raising an eyebrow.
--"Oh!" I said, realizing that I was getting ahead of myself. "Sorry. It will be a bit."
--Time Lord chuckled, "I've been ahead of myself many times! It CAN be confusing!"
--Gerta looked around, "Where is Lord Baldrith?" she wondered.
--"I think he's off talking somewhere," surmised Gabriel.
--Then our esteemed proprieter, Lady FireLotus herself spoke up, "I really should come here more often! But then, I might be here now.....you never know!"
--"Well I'm still waiting for the Vikings to make an entrance," grumbled Bov.
--"Say," I asked the group, "How did you like the video of Captain Lyra's boat?"

 

(Aboard POSSUMROSE) --Shania remained below, although I know she got up at least once to go to the head. "Shania not feeling well?" I asked Jeb.
--"No," he answered tersely. "And I would tread lightly around her for a day or so, she has a short fuse sometimes, and these be the times it seems....yar."
--"You seem to be doing well at the helm Ed," I complimented my shipmate.
--"Well, with a calm sea and light wind, it's not hard at all," said the off tank off handedly.
--Lyra came to the hatch and beckoned me to come below. She then went up and unfolded the chart table, making a large dining table. Jeb and Terra slid around the L shaped bench just as I brought up the dinnerware from the gally. I then slid past Ed to the seat on the starboard side of the helm. We waited expectantly for Lyra to bring the stew.
--After a while Lyra came up with a sizeable covered pot of stew which she held by the bail, as well as a sizeable covered pitcher "Sorry, I took a bowl to Shania, as she seems a bit unwell," our good Captain explained. "I'm letting Krisskar sleep, as I expect he will have a long night."
--Taking a seat Lyra began to ladle stew into the bowls and pass them around. We in turn poured ourselves a cup of sweet tea from the pitcher. "Fish stew?" asked Ed at the helm, guessing from the sweet scent that permeated the cabin.
--"Itf ferry guud!" Terra exclaimed with her mouth full.
--"Don't be uncouth!" I warned. "Ms. Cuthiosity will jump on you like a duck on a June Bug!"
--This comment had to be explained, so I recounted my meeting Shania and Jeb in Katya's Koffee Klutch back so very long ago it seemed. Ed was particularly amused and let the wheel slip a moment, shaking the boat just a tad.
--Supper was a bit sparse, probably a good thing not to have an overly full stomach when at sea. One never knows what the wind will bring.
--Terra helped Lyra with the washing up, which was minor. When the dishes were stowed Lyra came back up to the deckhouse. "The hourglass is running out Captain," Ed said.
--"Very well," Lyra acknowledged. She then noted the speed and heading, writing a note in the log, and showed Ed how to adjust the sails and jibe over to a port tack. Then Lyra pulled out her chart and once again placed it on the table. I watched as she measured and drew a short line on the chart. "The shortest distance between two points, when sailing," she said, "Is the letter Z."
--"Now Gentlemen," our Captain said sternly. "Here is a difficult thing you must do." She then handed a pair of earplugs each to myself, Ed and Jeb. "There is a conflict coming which, despite your bravery and abilities, is beyond your capabilities. Pray heed my orders now and stop your ears. I'll take the helm, Ed."
--Jeb decided to go below and join Shania in the crew berth. I had expected him to object, but he had witnessed Krisskar's demonstration earlier, and seemed to trust Lyra's ship handling abilities. Ed lounged on the bench seat at the table, putting his feet up and leaned back, quickly snoring. As for myself, I took the starboard seat near the helm. The earplugs were remarkably efficient; more so than any I had ever used, and I suspected some off shoot of healing magic had been applied to them.
--Terra sat beside her sleeping brother and, if she and Lyra talked, I could not hear. I watched the glow of the twilight fade and the stars come out. At some point I noticed Terra out lighting a red lantern on the port side and a green one on the starboard side, reminding me that port, left, and red all are shorter words than starboard, right, and green. Also Terra lit a white lantern on the stern.
--The night was black and dark, and Lyra steered by the dim glow of the compass, keeping watch on the hourglass. Then over the horizon the glow of the shattered moon began to wax, its light filtered through the slight haziness of the air. As it lifted above the horizon the wind died; and the sea seemed to turn a milky colour.
--"It iss time," Krisskar said, as I later read in the log. He stepped up into the deckhouse wearing a shimmering white robe, its hood pulled up over his head. No gauntlets now hid his obviously taloned hands; hands with three fingers and an oddly displaced thumb. "Reef the sailses and heave to, Captain. I shall await my doom out on the deck, in the forward cockpit."
---I was aware of some conversation, even though I could not hear it. What I was not aware of, thankfully, was a wailing song which began to drift over the waves....drawing closer by the minute.

 

*the Time Lord and Chariya sit quietly on their stools swinging their legs in unison sipping their sarsaparilla's through reed straws listening to Mingo's tales*
*listening*
~Time Lord~

 

"Sirens!" Fireangel excitedly whispered.

 

"Ah, the Murúch [Merrow] are seductive, more in song than in body, but to those enchanted by their song they will seem the most beautiful creature they've ever seen..." Bodhbh replied, spitting out the words of the Viking remark that Mingo had put in his mouth before he spoke in to a small bowl with a tight-fitting lid, since he didn't like the Vikings much as they had never brought much more than death and destruction to his lands...

"I am convinced that the Murúch are related to the Ban'Sidhe [Banshee], but since they won't talk to any that can resist their songs, I was never able to confirm that belief!" and sighed... "I guess Aoife would've been able to tell, but she hasn't been seen since I transformed her in to an air demon and banished her to the Sruth na Maoile as punishment fur cursing my step-daughter's children, her kin..."

 

(aboard Possumrose) --Possumrose was becalmed. The sea was as flat as glass. As the little ship spun slowly, Krisskar made his way out onto the deck, sitting on the starboard side of the forward cockpit, facing the rising of the shattered moon off the port bow.
--I watched intently as I could not hear due to the enhanced earplugs given me by Captain Lyra. Jeb and Shania were below sleeping in the crew berth, Ed slumbered on the cushions in the deckhouse. It was Terra, Lyra, and I who saw what happened; at least part of what happened.
--Krisskar had stowed his massive chestnut wand in the overhead of the deckhouse. A small yellow light now began to flash from a point on its length. Then, in the distance, a craft of some kind, devoid of sails, moved toward us. As it came closer, the light on Krisskar's wand changed from yellow to red; a small red point of light, blinking occasionally. I began to feel queasy. The becalmed sea glowed a milky white in the reflection of the moon... a sea of milk.
--The craft came close enough to make out that it was a shallow boat, about twelve feet long, with rising prows at the bow and stern, carved into the shape.....well, carved ornately. Standing in the boat was a figure, draped in a garment that seemed to be a hood, with long tails. The hood completely hid the figure's head, and seemed to be made of two lengths of black cloth about 12 inches wide, sewed at the top and a bit down the length to form the hood. The long "tails" of the hood hung in front of the figure, which was now obviously seen as female; a quite lovely female of generous proportions. It seemed she wore no other clothing, save for ornate gold bracelets on her wrists and ankles.
--I knew she was singing. The song I am sure would have been deadly for me to hear, and I later asked Captain Lyra if her seashell app had recorded it. Much to my relief she advised me the app was not turned on at the time. Krisskar, however, seemed to suffer no ill effect from the song, and stood up as the small boat drifted along side. The occupant of the craft tied its painter to the rail and climbed aboard.
--With only one puzzled glance at us, at me actually, with glowing eyes that I swear were a light green colour... it may be called "Teal", I am not sure, the figure advanced to sit on the opposite side of the forward cockpit from Krisskar, who resumed his seat. They seemed to converse, and judging by their body language, they were already acquaintances.
--The shattered moon rose higher and Possumrose drifted around slowly, spinning in place. Lyra and Terra stood beside me, and I noticed tears streaming down their cheeks.

 

(Fire Lotus Tavern) --Bov clarified: "I want to see them FIGHT Vikings!" Even though the time period may not be exactly right...."
--The young Time Lord piped up, "Time is malleable."
--From her stool the recently incarnated ghost, Chariya, piped up. "I know of the Apsara, sometimes called the Apson อัปสร. Well that is to say I know just a bit. There is a dance done to honor them. This must have been one of the 34 Laukika, the worldly ones, not the divine ones."
--Then to our fascination, Chariya recited a bit of lore, as expertly as if she were reading from Wikipedia, about one exploit of an Apsara:

A story type or theme appearing over and over again in the Mahabharata is that of an Apsara sent to distract a sage or spiritual master from his ascetic practices. One story embodying this theme is that recounted by the epic heroine Shakuntala to explain her own parentage.[3] Once upon a time, the sage Viswamitra generated such intense energy by means of his asceticism that Indra himself became fearful. Deciding that the sage would have to be distracted from his penances, he sent the Apsara Menaka to work her charms. Menaka trembled at the thought of angering such a powerful ascetic, but she obeyed the god's order. As she approached Viswamitra, the wind god Vayu tore away her garments. Seeing her thus disrobed, the sage abandoned himself to lust. Nymph and sage engaged in sex for some time, during which Viswamitra's asceticism was put on hold. As a consequence, Menaka gave birth to a daughter, whom she abandoned on the banks of a river. That daughter was Shakuntala herself, the narrator of the story.

--"I forsee S E X!" Gerta said mysteriously, trying to use that "adult conspiracy" thing often employed in the presence of children (it doesn't work, children are too smart for that).
--"Mingo!" FireAngel warned, "You best keep it G rated! There are children present!"
--Time Lord grinned, "It's not the mileage, dear lady, but the years that differentiates the child from the adult! Don't consider us children... as a wise sage once said 'Judge me by my size would you?' ."
--Chariya hopped off her stool and began to do a dance, with ornate hand motions. Her head bobbed back and forth in slow and subtle movements and she half sang, half hummed an Oriental tune....

 

(Fire Lotus Tavern) --We all watched in amazement as Chariya danced.

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=apsara dance thai&qs=n&form=QBVR&pq=apsara dance thai&sc=8-13&sp=-1&sk=#view=detail&mid=3ED6078D166334FB9BC73ED6078D166334FB9BC7

 

*Time Lord smiles at Mingo showing his dimples*
~Time Lord~

 

Bodhbh nodded "Do or do not! There is no try!" he mused, as he watched the dance... "I don't think I have ever seen a more apt embodiment of that dance, which is probably due to the unlikely marriage of two - normally mutually exclusive - extremes: The graceful control from experience gained by age and the incredibly empowering energy of youth..." he complimented Chariya.

 

Chariya thanked Bodhbh Dearg for his compliment.

"There's just so much I want to experience now that I have a body again!", she said, as she gave young Time Lord an amorous glance, " It's been so long..."

Young Time Lord returned the amorous glance, but Gabriel noticed that Fireangel did not appear to be pleased, judging by the expression on her face...

 

Bodhbh harrumphed and whispered barely audible "I think there are certain things you should leave unsaid, my dear, especially as long as your bodies have not yet reached the legal age...", and then mumbled to himself "whatever age that may be in this place, day and age, I'm certain it's NOT early teens!"

 

Fireangel sneezed, and dabbed at her nose with a handkerchief. She smiled. "I felt that sneeze tickle coming. Excuse me."

"Oh," Time Lord remarked, "I thought you were upset at the way my wife and I were behaving."

"Don't be silly. You're married, aren't you? You've been married quite a long time, I suppose, in some time perspective. I suggest you find some privacy." She gave them all a steady look. "Contrary to the belief of people who do not understand a spiritual relationship to the Lord, I am not required to be a prude." She laughed lightly. "A follower of Jesus didn't start out that way, and even one who has gotten to be very much like the Lord they follow is never perfect. You do realize God came up with the idea of marriage and sexual interaction between the two way back with Adam and Eve, don't you?" The lady shook her head with some little exasperation. "Ideas certainly do get mixed up over the centuries."

"It was a wonderful dance!" Fireangel said to Chariya, and happily changed the subject. She applauded the child enthusiastically.

 

(Beneath the volcano on the island of Feinantz) --With a swear word strong enough to crack stone, Alfred P. Pointed, putative head of the Tackzers (aka Red Hat Gnomes) was jostled from his bed. Donning his bedroom slippers he sat up and dialed the number for "Toady of the moment" to summon an aid.
--"Brown," the unenthusiastic answer came after the phone rang only only once.
--"What the Hezmana was that?!!" Screamed A.P.Pointed into the phone.
--A slightly shocked pause was followed by, "Oh, She is carving out more chambers, the stone naturally ends up in the caldera of the volcano." Then with a snide snivel Brown asked, "Shall I tell Her to stop?"
--A.P.Pointed, aka "Pointy" almost considered ordering Brown to his doom, but knew he would suffer Her wrath as well and thus answered, "No, but notify her I wish to speak with Her IMMEDIATELY!"
--"Yassir," Brown answered, "anything more?" but the phone was already dead. With a sigh Brown put away the pad of paper on which he was playing a game of tick tack toe with himself. "I'm losing anyway," he grumbled as he trundled down the passageway. Eventually he came into Her presence.
--Showing the properly cowed demeanor one affects if one wishes to survive, Brown bowed and said, "The Strawboss wishes to see you, on truly powerful one!"
--The being he addressed was a gnome, and wore a flaming red hat. Literally, it flamed like a candle. This giant among gnomes (She was over 16 inches high) was Meltora; the real, permanent boss of the Tackzers, who unlike Pointy, never dealt with the above ground Emporer Puppet; indeed she was unknown above ground.
--"He doesn't want to talk to me," she frowned at Brown. "Else he would be here! Well, speak of the devil!" she added as Pointy trotted into her area. "Did I disturb your afternoon nap?" Meltora asked with a cynical grimace, showing her disdain for the political appointee, staring at his bedroom slippers.
--"oops," said Pointy, realizing he didn't put his boots on. "Er, I was just wondering, Meltora dear, what all the Earth shaking ruckus was about?"
--Irritated at the interruption, Meltora nevertheless explained. "While you fumble around stealing folks hard earned gold....."
--"My actions are entirely lawful!" protested Pointy.
--"Ya, sure they are. Anywho, I have sold so much personal information on the great unwashed that another chamber is required to stash all the loot."
--"Information? You don't mean you are.....oh my, perhaps I shouldn't know about this...."
--"Perhaps you shouldn't," Meltora smiled. "Why don't you go back and finish your nap dearie?"
--"I forgot why I was here," Pointy said as he retreated quickly. "In fact," he called back, "I forgot I was EVER here!"
--Walking back down the tunnel Pointy grumbled about lifetime bureaucrats and their stranglehold on Institutions. Suddenly he stopped at a guarded door and turned. The guards saluted and opened the door for him. "Cheater!" he called, "where are you?"
--"That's CheSter," came an answer from behind a forge which sat in the center of the small cavern. "I have just finished your order."
--Walking around the cavern Pointy found the metalsmith admiring his work, a large acorn as big as a gnome's head, sat on the table before him. The acorn glistened from its metallic surface, its golden metallic surface. Pointy whistled.
--"It is actually real gold, " Chest explained, "At least the surface coating is real gold. Beneath that is copper, sheathing a lead acorn."
--"Will it fool Emporer Puppet d'ya think?" Pointy asked.
--Chester laughed derisively. "You could carve an acorn from wood and paint it yellow and that would fool him! This here is a masterpiece, as are the other four!"
--"Well done, Cheater m'boy," Pointy said dancing a little jig. "I'll send my personal Courior, Carrier, to collect them. You know Carrier?"
--"Oh yes," Chester nodded. "She will need some help, a box of five of these beauties will be hefty indeed."
--"Speaking of that, I wonder where that idiot of a mage and negotiator are with the real gold acorns...."
--"I will send my apprentice to check if you wish. He is trustworthy and can ride a bicycle."
--"thanks," Pointy nodded. "Let me know what you find out.

 

*Time Lord wrinkled his nose up at everyone*
Are you guys talking about sex? "Yuck!"
~Time Lord~

 

"Don't start playing the little kid now, mo chara Tiarna Am, we all know better", Bodhbh grinned over his empty glass... "Damnaigh, I'm really hungry and thirsty now!" he then grumbled, got up and walked to the back to make himself a Ploughman's sandwich in the kitchen and then walked to the bar to fetch his own pint of stout.
"Gerta's not getting a tip today!" he then announced to the group, "she's been slacking too much today, listening to Mingo's story rather than getting us our orders!"

Gerta blushed and swallowed a retort, and then hurried off, coughing because the retort got stuck in her throat, to get the rest of the ordered food and drinks.

"I hope that retort doesn't break before she can cough it back up", Gabriel commented.

Shortly after she returned with the drinks and announced any food orders would arrive soon.

 

(In the Fire Lotus Tavern) --Trend grinned at Bov's comment about Retort, but then he was shooed out the door by Gerta. "We have enough PUNishment from your kind!" she scowled, knowing the Trend would return, and return...
--FireAngel was curious about the storyline. "So, Mingo, since you could not hear, I guess Lyra and Terra filled you in on some of the auditory details concerning the Apsara and Krisskar?"
--"Partially," I replied. "Most of the story of their meeting I learned much much later....from Krisskar's daughter."
--This brought a few gasps from my small audience, and Blaquerogue got out his first aid kit to bandage all the wounds where people had their interest piqued. "Let me guess," he said not looking up from his work. "Part II?"
--Gerta clapped, "Oh well done M'lord Mingo! Talk about a teaser!!"

 

"Gee, I wonder who the mother turns out to be...", said Gabriel, stroking his chin, "I hope we don't have to wait too long to learn the answer to that question. You've definitely piqued my interest, Mingo!"

Young Time Lord started jumping up and down and waving his arms about.

"Ooh, ooh, I already know the answer to that question!", he exclaimed.

"Now, now, dear, don't go spoiling it for everyone!", said Chariya, with a stern look on her face and her hands on her hips.

"Yes, my love!", replied Time Lord, as he calmed himself and sat down again. He reached out to Chariya and they began holding hands as they continued to listen to Mingo's tale.

Gabriel smiled. Chariya was the only person in the universe who could rein Time Lord in when necessary. Now that's true love...

Gabriel began thinking about his late wife Shannon and the day when they too would be reunited...

 

(Aboard POSSUMROSE) --I watched entranced as the Apsara began to dance before the seated Krisskar. The forward cockpit was not very large, meaning she stood quite close to him. It was a slow, bewitching dance, with ornate hand motions....and...(at this point in the telling I gazed up into the far distance of memory)....energy that transcends the common definition of feminine seductive wiles.
--Throwing back her hood she revealed a head devoid of hair, crowned by a small tiara. Then she dropped the entire hood with its long tails. Dancing there in the moonlight we could see her entire naked body, glistening and sparkling as the moonlight reflected from her small, green scales....or perhaps they were teal. She faced me for a moment in her dance, with her glowing teal eyes still perplexed that I had no reaction to her song.....but knowing I was...affected by her dance. She grinned at me, revealing teeth as large and pointed as Krisskar's.
--It was then I noticed her hands. Three fingers; and an oddly displaced thumb, all tipped with short sharp claws. If she was not actually of Krisskar's kind, she affected that shape. As she finished her dance, and I presume her song, she stepped forward to Krisskar and sat astride him, face to face.
--From their bodies a mist exuded, until the entire forward deck of POSSUMROSE was enshrouded in thick fog. Lyra yawned with fatigue and motioned to herself and the steps down into the forward cabin. I nodded, knowing she was going to sleep for a bit. Terra returned to sit beside her sleeping brother.
--I was alone in my wakefulness, and softly in my mind I sang a song I had written: Some Girl Who is Breathing based on a poem by an ancient Irish poet, Martin MacDermott Girl of the Red Mouth. Floating on the calm sea I recalled moments of passion in my own life, which seemed so long, so long ago...

 

Suddenly, there was a large commotion at the bar, as two inebriated, burly German guys were causing trouble.

"Hey, Gerta, want to spend a little time with us when your shift is over?", asked Hans, grabbing her arm, causing her to drop the tray with our food orders. All of the food spilled onto the floor. Gerta looked very upset!

"Ja, we like mature women!", said Gunther, sniffing Gerta's hair, "You smell good!"

Flexing his muscles, Gunther exclaimed, "We are the Arensdorf brothers and we know how to have a good time!"

The members of our little group wondered where all of the bouncers had disappeared to. These oafs needed to be taught a lesson in manners...