Womby's Collection of Crappy Open Mic Poems

Discussion in 'Fire Lotus Tavern' started by Womby, Jun 4, 2015.

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  1. Womby

    Womby Avatar

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    NOVIA

    Between the mountains and the sea
    this wondrous land holds much for me.
    Whether chasing elves for loot
    or seeing Ian's birthday suit
    there's always something here to do
    and plenty more that we can view.

    Maybe you prefer the arts
    or sport is where your interest starts.
    Excitement can mean PVP
    or simply reading poetry,
    for standing up before you all
    is just as scary as a brawl.

    So in conclusion I would say
    that if you think you're bored today
    then please, just note the current date,
    prepare to re-evaluate,
    for you don't have to wander far
    just check your SotA calendar.
     
  2. Womby

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    WARNING

    "It isn't far" she said to me
    then added "everything is free".
    "Minerals, hides, cotton, suet -
    why do you hesitate - let's do it!"

    And so I tagged along with glee
    hoping for these things to see
    and yes, in truth, she did not lie
    the things she spoke of I did spy...

    But what she failed to clarify
    was that we were about to die.
    Given that I'll soon expire
    I'll warn you of a threat most dire.

    Here's the thing I wish I knew:
    OOOOooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOoooooOOOO
     
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  3. Womby

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    CHEESE

    Have you noticed all the cheese
    spreading around like some disease?
    Every table you will see
    is covered in Feta, Swiss and Brie.

    "So what?" you say, "is that not good?"
    and to be fair, most people would.
    But think about it - wonder how.
    Doesn't cheese require a cow?

    Now I have travelled far and wide
    and the only place that I have spied
    a single cow is in Owl's Head -
    so I am paralysed with dread.

    For if it is not made of milk
    from cows or creatures of that ilk
    then I must know before I try -
    if I eat it, will I die?
     
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  4. Womby

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    ARACHNOPHILIA

    The battle had ended
    and that's when I spied her -
    surrounded by dead,
    a magnificent spider.

    There we were, the spider and I.
    Facing each other. Eye to eye.
    Corpses of people and spiders all round...
    all but us dead, and nary a sound.

    As we studied each other with cautious respect
    I lowered my weapon, for I could detect
    a sad, lonely tear in one of her eyes -
    and what happened next came as quite a surprise.

    She lifted a leg, and placed it on me
    then beckoned I follow her under a tree.
    It was there we discovered a passion so great
    that the spider and I decided to mate.

    Our 500 children now wander the land -
    a sight so inspiring, moving and grand.
    Some have two legs, and others have eight
    but all think the taste of humans is great.
     
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  5. Womby

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    MY FAVOURITE NOVIAN CREATURES

    I am a loving person
    as many will attest.
    Of all the creatures I have met
    I love the Elves the best.

    They always rush to greet me,
    and gosh they look so cute.
    But best of all when they are dead
    they give me lots of loot.

    My second favourite creatures
    are skellies that I find.
    They have a sense of humour
    that you should bear in mind.

    For though you think you've killed them,
    there's something you should hear -
    if you turn your back on them
    they'll stab you in the rear.

    Lastly I must mention
    that wibbly wobbly slime.
    It blubbles and it wubbles
    and it has a lovely time.

    Sadly while exploring there's
    a sight I've often seen:
    people killing them with fire -
    it ain't easy being green.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2015
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  6. Andrew Rodrick

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    Great stuff! I look forward to the others ;)
     
  7. Womby

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    SPARKY

    I had a friend named Sparky
    who followed me around.
    We'd often chat
    'bout this and that
    and stuff that we had found.

    He was in fact my best friend -
    of him I was quite fond.
    I really miss
    the gentle kiss
    of my sweet automaton.

    Sadly there did come a time
    when Sparky had to go.
    It broke my heart
    that I needed a part
    for my Avatars Radio.
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2015
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  8. Womby

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    SotA

    I know it's hard to understand
    but strangers from another land
    are sometimes scornful of this place
    and fail to see why we embrace
    its every quirk and oddity
    and why we gather, you and me
    to stage events that we create
    or gather round and celebrate
    when they have Gods that hold their hand
    and tell them how their world is planned
    and structure every little thing
    for them so they don't have to bring
    a single spark of random thought,
    for everything to them is taught
    and they don't see what we can see,
    the boundless creativity
    the songs, the poems, the games, the prose,
    the video streams and radio shows,
    the sports and quests and other things
    this busy group of players brings
    and lasting friendships that are made -
    clearly why we haven't strayed
    and why I made this little rhyme
    because I think that it is time
    to say it all before my death
    from being so long out of breath.
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2015
  9. Womby

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    CHEATING

    I know a fan of many sports
    who used to play on gust ball courts
    or tackle the most fiendish maze
    that left the others in a daze.

    His story is a sombre case
    of pets competing in a race,
    and how he stood there quite aghast
    when his pet Brutus came in last.

    He wailed, he cursed, he spat and swore.
    His rage was like a weeping sore.
    Rather than accept defeat
    he plotted a revenge most sweet.

    He disappeared for several days
    and no one missed his toxic ways.
    Then suddenly he returned and won
    a slew of races, every one.

    People weren't the least bit thrilled
    their favourite pets had all been killed.
    They all agreed it wasn't fair
    that he had gone and tamed a bear.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2015
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