The Correct Technique for Dealing with Trolls

Greetings All

I hope that you have all taken the opportunity to have a read through Sir Frank's mighty fine written piece "Death" in the Scribes of Novia forum. A story where young Sir Frank comes off second best to a troll (of the classical variety). The result is somewhat unfortunate, hence the title of the piece.

Should a troll get hold of a true warrior, it is of course the troll that is in trouble, and not the hero. I will elaborate:

There are those who are quick to panic when they are grabbed by a troll, but this should be no real cause for concern if you follow the correct procedure for dealing with the situation.



As the troll's hand closes around you, be quick to flip your belt-mounted morning star 90 degrees to stop the fingers getting too tight a grip. As it lifts you off the ground it is time to get ready to exploit the troll's primary weakness - they are particularly sensitive to loud noises. Even Beowulf figured that one out (eventually).

As you are lifted towards its face, and it prepares to bite your head off, just lean to the side an holler as loud as you can in its ear-hole. That should cause it such discomfort and aggravation that you will be quickly dropped (or thrown) to the ground.

Be sure to take advantage of this opening. Smash it as hard as you can on the toes with your trusty warhammer. As it doubles over in pain, this will bring its head down within range of an upwards swing of the hammer. If you put your back into it, and you are using quality equipment, then you can damn near knock it's head off...



'ang on matey ! What happens if it is a deaf troll or one without any ears on it ?

I'm sorry Bronwyn, but that is a stupid question which does not merit an answer...

I ain't got a warhammer or one of those star thingies either - can't we just shoot it up the ol' schnoz with a poison arrer ?




Ha ha, it might have a big nose but I don't think it would keep its head still long enough for you to aim at it.

You raise a good point though. Because of their regenerative capabilities, once downed it is important to finish the troll off with poison or fire...




Finish? Bloody rubbish! Start 'em off with a bit of flame, that's what I say! Much better than thrashing about with a hammer!

Did I tell ye about the time me an' the Bomb Squad fixed a bunch o' high-ex around a troll's privates an' set em off with a fireball?? I tell ye summut lad, there's nowt what sorts a troll out faster than exploding gonads!


(Pack of Jarial's special "Firebomb" mixtures. Nice!)

 

1. slip in shadows
2. come here and read all the tactics
3. by the time you do eeet troll will wander off ^_^

 

Fight troll with Fire or a Troll slayer!

 

Well, I would not say I was young when that death occurred.
Years of wearing metal armor and waving around heavy weapons have worn out my bones and joints, so I am no longer much use on the battlefield.
The two-handed sword of my youth has been replaced by a dagger, and my armor is often only the darkness of night.
I can cover more ground dressed in cloth, and squeak and rattle less.

But for sure, when I was younger I did not go creeping around ruins by the light of the moon, or go looking for trolls.

On that occasion I was cornered, and having only my dagger, I did the best I could.


If my mission takes me back to that place, I will be more prepared.

 

And a fantastic piece taken to another medium. Thank you Greyhaven, I hope you like it!

http://thecaverns.net/Podcasts/corr...-greyhaven-narrated-asclepius-littlegeeklost/

 

Thanks to the efforts of the tireless Asclepius and Sir Stile Teckel, I have another little comedy piece turned into an audio production at http://www.thecaverns.net

This is made all the more remarkable considering that this was not a "story"as such, but merely a response to Sir Frank's own superior contribution. Asclepius and Sir Stile Teckel do a fantastic job of giving SOTA writers a bit of encouragement and reward, considering that it is much more difficult to get views and credit for a work of honest fiction than it is to write something provocative in The Town Square.

Strength then to Asclepius and Sir Stile Teckel and producers of quality content like Sir Hemlock, young Bowen and all those who contribute to Fire Lotus Tavern Library.

Now it appears that courtesy of Messrs Vyrin & Womby, the Caverns.net have a little quest for us writing all about discovering a book that someone has dropped in a side street of Ardoris. Let us not stand on ceremony but get to it !

 

Wow, thank you Greyhaven. You brightened my night (sitting in a pet ER at moment). Thanks *salutes*

 

Yes! We look forward to your contributions!