Mingo's White Raven Inn

Discussion in 'The Library' started by Mingo, Sep 1, 2020.

  1. Mingo

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    (In Mingo's White Raven Inn)--"I'm confused....." Lilith said.
    --"I liked your other name better, Miss Confused," TimeLord quickly slipped in a comment of the style common to this wonderfully written, intriguing and much liked (even by lurkers hint hint) story.
    --"You go too far, author," Frida objected. "Fishing for likez iz not couth."
    --"yes," Bov agreed. "Let us have some cuthiosity, which leads me to the question: what about Shania (who invented the term cuthiosity), Jeb and the rest?"
    --"Hush you lot!" Mingo commanded gently. "Lilith has a question. Go ahead Lilith."
    --The young Lilith cast her eyes sideways at her detractors drawing up one side of her mouth in a disapproving half grimace. "Yessss, question. Was this the same Red Hat Gnome, RockSide, who fought against the heroes in the Battle of the Tunnels for the Gold Acorns?"
    --"Heroes? Clowns? Poets? Sailers? It is hard to pin down what this group was," Father Sarducci said, blowing smokerings with his cigarette smoke (where ever did he keep getting cigarettes?).
    --"Yes," Mingo said in answer to Lilith's question.
    --"I"m glad we aren't exactly PC in Novia," System Lord Elgarion said. "You can even smoke indoors here, doesn't bother anyone!"
    --.....somewhere a Lurker coughed.
     
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    (In a secret room in the attic of the Beige House in Laundrytown)-- The Assistant Puppeteer pulled the Senior String to an audience in the dark, attic room. "You pulled your Assistant Eminence?" String said obsequiously .
    --"Here," two volumes of documents were placed on the table between the two people of unknown sex. They were simple pages, bound in stacks about one inch thick. "....are your directives."
    --String could not see the Assistant Puppeteer. Only a single lamp on the table lit the room, barely, must have been a 60 watt bulb. He reached for the two volumes. "Any verbal instructions?" he meekly asked.
    --"See that the Old Emperor follows the activities in the first document. Nothing else. No unscripted speaking, and bare minimum interaction with anyone except yourself. The second document is a list describing Executive Orders which are to be promulgated. Get out."
    --Rapidly String left the dark attic room. He or maybe she knew nothing of the Assistant Puppeteer, much less the Puppeteer, but did not want to. String had nightmares......and feared the shadow of power cast by the Puppeteer. There were other Strings he knew, and he feared for his or maybe her, safety.
     
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    (In the Royal Apartments of the Emperor)--"Wakey Wakey," The Emperor's String chided at 8:30 am, nudging Old Emperor Puppet. "Your 10 hours of sleep are up. Lots to do before your 11:00 naptime."
    --Helping the old man to a sitting position the medically trained String took out a syringe. "Today you get your monthly B12 shot, yer highness."
    --"Ow," Old Emperor Puppet said. "I need to pee."
    --String aided the elderly man to stand and stumble to the bathroom, outside of which he waited. In the meantime the Emperor's breakfast was brought in to the small table; a bowl of oatmeal, small glass of orange juice, and a hand full of prescription drugs for various ailments/conditions common to the elderly....blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, cholesterol, vitamins, eye drops. Also a cup of decaffeinated coffee.
    --The old man made his way shakily to the seat and ate his breakfast, dribbling juice and coffee and oatmeal. String dutifully wiped the Emperor's face and after breakfast helped him to dress. They exited the royal apartments at 9:30 and managed to walk to the Rectangular Office, where several Executive Orders had been prepared on the ornate desk.
    --"Do I need to read these?" asked Old Emperor Puppet.
    --"Not necessary, yer highness," The String said. "They are exactly what you ordered yesterday, just written down."
    --In a pontifical tone, the Emperor said, "Writing and reading the....thing...you know...is quite...different and gives new meaning to policy statements that...that...yes." Then he farted loudly.
    --"Wisely said, yer highness."
     
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    (In the Beige House in a secure, small meeting room)--At 11:30 am, after Old Emperor Puppet was put to bed for his 11 am to 2 pm nap, the daily meeting of the Strings was taking place. Each string gave a briefing on the directives they had been given by the Puppeteers, so that they were all "on the same page" as it were.
    --"We only have 1 1/2 years of full control left," THE String, the one attached to the Old Emperor Puppet, said. "Over in the legislative swamp our hold is tenuous and not likely to last. Already some traitors are appearing in Old Emperor Puppet's party who are stymieing advancement of THE PLAN."
    --The finance String spoke up. "We could buy more influence with those fake gold acorns the Taxers, the Red Hat Gnomes, have been producing. But they are at their limit. Too bad we cut down all those Golden Oaks last time we were in power, they produced REAL golden acorns."
    --"Bah, spilled milk over the dam," put forth the Ministry of Truth String. "influence is an illusion. It is the shadow on the wall people fear and respect, no matter how small the actual creature that casts that shadow. If they think it is ok to pay twice what they paid last year because they themselves are being paid 1.5 x what they were last year, then go for it."

    --"Nevertheless," THE String insisted. "Keep to the Puppeteer's Plan. As much damage as possible must be done in the time we have."
    --The meeting adjourned. All the Strings stood and gave the traditional battle cry of the Puppeteers: "Damn the Constitution! Full speed astern!"
     
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    (At Mingo's White Raven Inn)--"Why are you telling us this stuff about strings and laundry?" Lilith asked Perplexed. But it was Mingo that answered.
    --"Ah little minnow, the events of this tale are attached to an evolutionary dead end in the Metaverse, a cul-de-sac of might-have-been that never was," Mingo droned in an instructive and boring voice. "A big part of the world was ruled by those who controlled Laundrytown, and another big part by the Dryads. Wealth was created by Golden Oaks, which gave forth Golden Acorns. Sadly, the oaks themselves were cut down by the thousands by greedy globalists with the aid of the rulers in Laundrytown, leaving the Dryads, who controlled a big chunk of the world, as the primary producers of wealth.
    --"From time to time the Dryads loaned golden acorns to Laundrytown, which had secretly been repaying the Dryads with fake gold acorns. We are bout to see a momentous economic conflict erupt....and our heroes once again come into the picture."
     
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    (At Mingo's White Raven Inn)--"An evolutionary dead end with a tail," someone, probably a lurker, mused.
    --Bov asked a remarkably pertinent question. "....and so pray tell, what of those five REAL gold acorns taken from the armored giant squirrels by the Red Hat Gnomes, then by Jeb Stuart and party, and last heard of in the possession of Mr. Robin of the Neighborhood in an escarpment cave adjacent to the edge of the Guava Desert?"
    --"Well done!" Mingo clapped at the succinct but elucidating recollection of events passed. "Mr Robin had invited five groups of eager workers to each take an acorn, and develop a Golden Oak to produce wealth. In return, Mr. Robin would get a portion of the production."
    --"There is a word for that kind of person....but it slips my mind," TimeLord said idly.
    --"Venture Capitalizt," Frida surprisingly provided the term. "Providing thoze who wish to work with rezourcez necezzary to ztart biznezzez."
    --"A once prominent type, but hated by those in Laundrytown as we shall see," Mingo hinted.
     
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    (Mingo continues narrating without quote at the White Raven Inn)--The escarpment (wherein lay Mr. Robins Neighborhood in a series of caves) divided the Guaca Desert from a more wooded and better watered land that dropped down in elevation from the escarpment that formed the boundary between it and the Desert. Five groups of industrious peoples had each staked out areas in this wooded area.
    --Setting to work these groups used their combined talents and the things they had purchased with their individual savings and brought with them, to build from scratch an Industrious Area. It was more than just the planting of the acorn, and the nurturing, fertilizing, and trimming of the mighty Gold Oak they needed; they also required residences for the people, farmland to grow crops, pastures for the cattle they had brought. Indeed, each Gold Oak in existence had caused a thriving community to spring up about it.
    --Golden Oaks can grow quickly in such conditions, and begin producing Gold Acorns even when no taller than a man Mr. Robin got one of each group of ten acorns as part of the deal. Once there were many such Industrious Areas surrounding Gold Oaks in the lands ruled now by Old Emperor Puppet. Alas blighted areas littered his land now where the Gold Oaks had been cut down and used to burn sacrifices to the Globilist Theory. Now those areas were miserable crumbling collections of ruins are inhabited by only a few.
    --But then the day came when an Ambassador of the Dryads came to call.
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2021
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    (In the caves that housed Mr. Robin's Neighborhood)--It was a busy day. Terra and Ed had escorted the five leaders of the five Industrious Areas to a regular meeting with Robin. The meeting was well underway when Shania interrupted. "Sorry folks, but someone...or thing...insists on an audience."
    --"Sounds important," Robin nodded. Have Jeb send them in.
    --The mighty warrior, known as Tank but actually named Jeb Stuart almost blocked the doorway as he paused and announced, "His eminence, Butterfly, ambassador of the Dryads." Shania had to put her hand over her mouth to stifle a snigger.
    --"Welcome....Butterfly," Robin said, biting his tongue to restrain his amusement at seeing the 2 1/2 foot tall humanoid with large butterfly wings flit up to stand atop the conference table. Nattily attired in what appeared to be a business suit and tie...but without a back as there were wings, the diminutive ambassador clutched in one hand a briefcase embellished with gold trim.
    --"Hello," Butterfly said in an unexpectedly deep resonating bass voice that was easily heard in every corner of the room. "thank you for receiving me, and I am glad to know the five leaders are here as well; saves me a trip."
    --"I know of the Dryads," said Robin, "but I tend to avoid both the Dryad and Laundrytown political battles.
    --"Very Wise Sir Robin, but actual battle is on the horizon. Literally, at the far edge of the Guaca desert, armies gather for the coming war."
    --"War?" Shania asked. "Why?"
    --"Ah dear lady," the polite ambassador answered, "Because of all of you. Everyone wants what you got."
    (Back in Mingo's White Raven Inn)--Lilith sighed. "So, our heroes are just going to take part in some boring war?" she asked Mingo.
    --"Not at all," Mingo answered. "for there is another aspect of this story yet to be revealed."
     
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    (In the Beige House, middle of the night)--Like many old men with enlarged prostates it was usual for Old Emperor Puppet to get up and pee. This night he turned on the TV which happened to show a news channel (How it got to that channel was unknown....the remote control was too advanced for the Emperor to use...)
    --"Preparations for war continue as our brave forces gather at the edge of the Guaca Desert...." the pundit was saying. Old Emperor Puppet blinked. "War?" he muttered to himself. "What war?"
    --Turning off the tv he picked up the phone, which was directly connected to the desk of THE String. "Hello yer majesty," the 2nd String immediately answered. "What can I do for you?"
    --"I just saw on tv something about....about some kind of.....mmmm war?"
    --"I am confused," 2nd String said. "Your tv is supposed to just show old Three Stooges reruns, SpongeBob SquarePants, and HuckleBerry Hound......were they having a war?"
    --"NO NO! it was a news station....talking about desserts, or salads or something and preparations...."
    --"Ahhh....I think I know," soothed 2nd String in a comforting tone. "There are the war GAMES going on that you ordered, perhaps it was a news blurp during a commercial."
    --"I ordered? Yes,I ordered war games. Baseball, Monopoly, volleyball.....good atheletic endeavors to keep our soldiers in fitness....you have reassured me, whoever you are....you aren't the usual fellow are you? I forget his name."
    --"I am the night officer, sir, glad to reassure you so you can go back to sleep."
    --"Yes, yes, I am sleepy all the time it seems."
    --"We know."
     
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    (White Raven Inn)--"Zee here," Frida chided. "You ramble on about garbage and war and zaladzez and laundry, but what of the Gnomezez? Iz Rockzide really being uzed az an anchor?"
    --"Oh," Mingo said, realizing that not only was he remiss in posting anything, his posts were rambling off on a tangent that was, frankly, quite boring. "forgive me dear apprentice. I shall switch to narrative mode and recount the approach of PossumRose and her crew to the Dire Straits."
    (Aboard Possum Rose)--
    (white raven inn)--"Too dark! Too Dark!" Gerta objected. "Pick a different colour for PossumRose please!"
    (PossumRose)==the grumbling narrator picked up the story. Putting it on the table before him he then recommenced narrating. "no quotes here," he said,confusing everyone. "while narrating there are no quotes, unless quoting someone who speaks."
    --The assembled listeners rolled their eyes, but everyone was able to find them even those that rolled under the table.
    --RockSide was not a happy gnome. He stood at the bottom of the sea holding onto a spire of coral as the ship above him waited out a bit of a squall. The anchor chain fastened around him held against most of the pulls from PossumRose, but occasionally a large gust of wind or a swell would stretch it out and he had to work at holding on. "I'll get you for this Hamster," he thought glumly.
    --Mingo could see the aft deck from where he sat eating his sandwich. A green, webbed hand reached up from the swim platform and grasped the rail along the stern. "I think we are about to have a visitor," he said.
     
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    (Aboard PossumRose)--Lyra turned toward the stern of the boat. The two gnomes stood looking out the glass panes at the bottom of the door to the aft deck. The webbed green hand was large, much larger than that of a person. It was a left hand. Then the right hand appeared, holding a short shafted silvery trident. Finally with a sudden heave that shook the boat, the head and torso of a..... woman... appeared, at a height indicating she might be sitting on the swim deck.
    --Her hair was a light green, and seemed perfectly dry, blowing in the dying winds of the squall and shedding raindrops like the waterproof feathers on a duck's back. Her face had a dark green tint, smooth and quite attractive actually, unlike the scales that could be seen from hand to elbow on her arms. Mingo noted longish claws in lieu of fingernails. The woman grinned, bringing an involuntary shudder down Mingo's back.

    --"I have never seen such a mermaid!" Lyra exclaimed in a whisper, totally unnecessary as the door was closed and wind noise still whistled through the rigging. "I hope she isn't here for lunch...."
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2021
  12. Mingo

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    (White Raven Inn)--"I object!" objected Lilith. "Not all mermaids are bloodthirsty murdering savages who eat the flesh of men they drown! And those that do seek out talented artists, singers, poets and writers!"
    --"So, YOU had nothing to fear then," Frida grinned at Mingo, revealing her own sharp interlocking shark like serrated teeth (which she usually disguised with glamour magic).
    --Mingo shuddered, "Don't DO that.....please!" he admonished his apprentice. "Lilith, I know mermaids are not vegetarians and rarely consume humans....at least I know that now..."
    --"It depends on the phase of the moon," Lilith said, revealing new information. "Different kinds of hunger strike at different phases of the moon. For example, I only have a hungering for jelly fish one day a month."
    --"You're a mermaid?" Father Sarducci asked with a blink.
    --"Lilith iz a Clownfish," Frida butted in with a scowl.
    --"Ow," Bov reacted to being butted and swatted the scowl away.
    --"Clone dear," Gerta, assigned protector of both Frida and Lilith commented, "Almost all mermaids are clones."
    --"I like my word better," Frida muttered. Lilith moved to stand behind Gerta.

    --Bov reminisced, "Lilith actually swam here. TimeLord and I met her when she was still in the water."
    --"What day of the month...." Mingo began to ask about the craving for human flesh but then though better of it. "never mind, I don't think I want to know..."
    --"Anywho," Lilith said. "I know of no such mermaids as you describe; giant green mermaids."
    --"Maybe they were Teal?" FireAngel suggested.
    --For just a moment, Frida let her glamour magic drop revealing her Teal colored hair. "Like my hair?"
    --Father Sarducci dropped his cigarette. "How do you do that?"
    --Quickly restoring her apparent hair color to jet black, Frida waved a hand, "oh, it'z kind of an inztant hair dye thing. Forget about it."
    --"Forget what?" Father Sarducci asked.
    --"No, green. Dark green." Mingo insisted. "and large, about twice the size of a human. But pretty....yes, very pretty with sparkling large eyes
    that seemed to have no pupil, just a luminescent pearl colour
     
  13. Mingo

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    (White Raven Inn)--"There are no mermaids in Novia," System Lord Elgarion pointed out.
    --"Not in this iteration no," Mingo agreed. "but there could have been mermaids, along with character controlled boats that could sail the seas fishing for sea dragons and boots....and remember, this tale is of a backwater eddy of the Metaverse that is gone with the wind."
    --"Plagerist," Frida accused.
    --"Please don't refer to non PC publications," System Lord Elgarion entreated. "I would hate to see your posts removed."
    --"Wouldn't the Inn fall down if the posts were removed?" inquired Lilith.
    --"Interesting," Father Guido Sarducci said, lighting another cigarette (where DOES he get those things). "I didn't know backwater eddies had tails."
     
  14. Father Guido Sarducci

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    Blackwater eddies with tails, who ever heard of such a thing, but I've heard of mermaids!
    I thought blackwater eddies just had tales they sold for like for a Nickle a piece,
    like a peace Nickle of tails, which is when instead of holding up just the two fingers for peace,
    they hold up all five instead because mermaids can't just hold up the two finger,
    but they can however do really well holding up just one when it really matters for chasing tales.
    I need to go back to college and include all that in my 5 minute university,
    so everybody knows something about mermaids. Oh wow, another cigarette to smoke,
    I wonder what this one tastes like, the last one tasted a bit like kelp.
    [​IMG]
     
  15. Bodhbh Dearg

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    I groaned... I'm not here for the tail-end of tales of tails, so let the old guy Mingo tell his tale, because he's taking too many side-trails in this tale as is! *Muttering under my breath* Fócas agus bogadh ar cheana...
     
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    (aboard PossumRose)--The mermaid's gaze seemed transfixed on the two small gnomes peeking through the glass at the bottom of the door. PossumRose seemed to have settled down after being boarded by such a huge....creature, and the sea was calming as the squall ended.
    --"I'll go talk to her," Hamster volunteered. "I doubt mermaids eat rocks."
    --Princess BlueBell followed as he slipped out the door, which Lyra had opened to let them out. The mermaid peered down at them with her large ghostly lumanescent eyes, then reached forward and poked Hamster in the chest with a talon. "Well well," she said in a fetching feminine voice that could be easily heard even through the closed door, "Rocks that walk."
    --"We talk too," piped up BlueBell.
    --With a shake of her hair the mermaid lowered her head, twice the size of BlueBell, closer and peered at her. A Transparent eyelid blinked twice. Her breath smelled like fish. "Indeed," nodded the mermaid. "Your companion below didn't say anything though."
    --"Allow me to introduce myself," Hamster said diplomatically. "I am Hamster Fizzimix and this is my apprentice, Princess BlueBell."
    --"Walking, talking rocks with names," the green mermaid observed. "You may call me Tiny. It's not actually my name, but something similar that you can pronounce in your language."
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2021
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    (White Raven Inn)--Anpu had wandered by to buy a song and made his presence known, thus opening himself to the risk of having others put words in his mouth (you can join in too, Anpu).
    --"So, could someone bring me up to speed?" Anpu entreated.

    --"There is a horse named 'Speed' around the corner in the stable," Arkah offered helpfully.
    --Lilith, who despised intentional misunderstanding, advised the newly uncovered Lurker, "there are copious logs on the front porch, beginning with 'Tale of the Red Hat Gnomes' and the predecessors posts to 'Mingo's White Raven Inn' that you can peruse at your leisure."
    --"Now now," Mingo said, puffing a triple smoke ring from his pipe, "Let's be more accomodating. This is a tale of events that occurred in another part of the Metaverse quite a while back. That part of the metaverse became a dead end cul-de-sac, so there are things in this story that are not in Novia today, like giant green mermaids."
    --"I see," said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.
    --"Who is that?" Gerta wondered as the unnamed non-recurring character tapped with his white tipped cane in search of the exit.
    --"He came in when I came in," Anpu answered. "I think he is just a Lurker."
    --Bov had been pondering Lilith's earlier statement. "You seem to be fond of the word 'copious', Lilith," Bov said in a friendly manner. "I think it is now your trademark word, as 'cuthiosity' was Shania Twain's."
    --Lilith smiled. "Copious." she said.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2021
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    (Mingo's White Raven Inn)--"I'm not blind...." grumbled The SavageEmpire.
    --"Oh, that wasn't you, that was an unknown Lurker....they come and go. You are welcome here, comment anytime you wish." Mingo said in a reassuring manner.
    --Somewhat mollified, The SavageEmpire nodded. "Very well then."
    (Back on PossumRose)--"well Miss Tiny," BlueBell said, blinking her eyes fetchingly, "I perceive you are a being like us, that is to say you are magical."
    --Tiny tilted her head back and forth considering her response. "I guess you could say that. Somehow I can magically speak whatever language is being used at the moment, and I can do some minor physical changes."
    --"We can tunnel through rock," Hamster said. "And some of us can learn magical spells. Do you do magical spells?"
    --Shaking her head, Tiny indicated negatively.
    --"Um, our friends inside are concerned about.....what you eat...." BlueBell said hesitantly.
    --Tiny the giant green mermaid raised her head to observe the two humans inside the deckhouse. "Oh, my tribe doesn't eat humans, we trade with them," here she raised the silver short handled trident she held in her right hand. "The Rusty Red Tribe made this for example."
    --"What do you trade?" Hamster asked.
    --"they like the red rocks we mine for them. It's where they get their iron and steel. Also it makes the water reddish in the Red Sea. Also they bake pies for us."
    --"You like pie?" BlueBell asked. "What kind?"
    --"Oh," Tiny explained. "The pies aren't for us, we give them to the Rats in exchange for leaving us alone."
    (White Raven Inn)--"Oh no oh no oh no." FireAngel lamented. "Don't tell me......"
    --"Yes," Mingo smiled. "We are about to meet the Pie Rats of the Dire Straits...."
     
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  19. Bodhbh Dearg

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    "Ó as ucht Dé! Bi samhach, tú Amadaun!" I cry out "You've got to be kidding me!"
     
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    (White Raven Inn)--"Sigh," Mingo sighed. "Only Bov had a response, and it was cryptically written in Gaelic. I thought that was one of my best lines ever."
    --"I did a face palm," FireAngel said offering a modicum of comfort. "Why don't you tell us more about the butterflies? I like butterflies."
    (In the demesnes of Mr. Robin's Neighborhood, in caves in an escarpment that separated the Guaca Desert from the lush woodlands of what was now called the Unified Industrious Area.)--Mr. Robin was actually a genial and accommodating host, even to adversaries. "So Ambassador Butterfly, just what is it that we have that is so desirable to the Dryads and the Laundrytown forces?"

    --One could imagine the ambassador blinking, except that his multifaceted black insect eyes didn't blink. But his antennae quivered just a bit and there seemed to be a bit of a smile on his somewhat insect-like face.. "Two things," he began in his deep bass voice. "First the obvious golden acorns, or a few of them, for which we would offer more than fair compensation."
    --"Compensation?" one of the five leaders asked.
    --"Observe," Butterfly then laid his attache case down and opened it, lifting from out of it a caterpillar. "This is the nemesis of all Golden Oaks, a Union Bug." Then the diminutive ambassador ate the caterpillar. "mmmm, delicious for us Dryads, but deadly to Golden Oaks. Your own Golden Oaks are now in the early stages of infestation. We offer a protective Dryad to occupy each tree, and eat the bugs. A Dryad also promotes double growth and output from each tree."
    --"....and I suppose you Dryads put them there?" another leader asked.
    --"That cannot be proven, and there is reasonable doubt," Butterfly responded nonchalantly.
    --"Ok we understand," Mr. Robin said. "What is the second thing?"
    --"That shall be revealed in the next post," Ambassador Butterfly said with mysterious intonations.
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2021
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