Tale of the Red Hat Gnomes - Part I

*Time Lord eases his quarter staff closer with his toe while still sipping his sarsaparilla still swinging his other leg listening to Mingo*
~Time Lord~

 

With a soft sigh Bodhbh eases the sword on his hip in it's scabbard, and then grips his staff, which slowly starts to softly hum and glow...

 

Gabriel's left hand comes to a rest on the hilt of the Dragon Katana sheathed on his right hip. As he continues drinking from his mug with his right hand, Gabriel notices that the larger of the two men, Hans, has a long sword strapped to his right hip, while the shorter man, Gunther, has about a dozen throwing knives strapped across his chest.

Gerta manages to extricate herself from Hans' grip and slaps him across the face

Hans becomes enraged and curses Gerta He raises his left hand to strike her when suddenly...

 

(In the Fire Lotus Tavern) --Pulling out my small harp I strum a provoking tune and sing:

There once were two lads from Hochsauerland
who on our sweet barmaid dared lay a hand.
"This isn't right!" said the one on the right
and the other then kicked him in the crotch.

--"that....doesn't rhyme..." Blaquerogue chuckled. But the provoking seemed to have worked.

 

As Gunther screamed out in pain, both Hans' hair and Gunther's buttocks suddenly erupted into flames! Both men ran screaming out of the Tavern and jumped into the nearby river as a furious Fire Lotus (who had just walked in) yelled after them, "Don't ever come back! You're both banned for life!", as her glowing red eyes returned to normal

"No one messes with my staff! Is that clear?", she said.

"Yes, Fire Lotus!", said everyone in unison

"Good. ", said Fire Lotus, as she turned to Gerta.

"Are you okay?", she asked.

"I'm fine, Fire Lotus. Just a little shaken up.", replied Gerta, "Thank you for teaching those oafs a lesson!"

"It was my pleasure!", said Fire Lotus, with a big grin on her face, "That felt really good "

 

*Time Lord and Chariya's eye's were wide with their eye brows almost touching the tops of their heads run up to Lady Fire Lotus both bouncing on their toes, Time Lord asks*
Lady Fire Lotus, that was Neat! can you join us for a sarsaparilla? please"please"please"please"please"
*Time Lord and Chariya continue jumping round in a circle round her*
~Time Lord~

 

(In the Fire Lotus Tavern) --"Nice provoking there Master Bard," FireLotus nodded to me. "Pray, continue lengthening your tale."
--"I don't have a tail!" I started to protest, then added, "Oh, never mind...."
(Aboard Possumrose) --The wind began to blow softly, swinging the ship ever so slightly. I stood alone at the helm, the only one awake, or so I thought, still wearing the magically enhanced earplugs and staring into the fog which shrouded the forward part of the ship.
--A cup of koffee was extended within range of my vision and I took it gratefully, turning to see Shania standing there with a cup of her own. She squeezed by me to sit in the starboard captain's chair. As the wind picked up a bit the fog blew away.
--I stared at the deck, my eyes adjusted to the bright moonlight. Krisskar was gone. The Apsara was gone. The small craft in which the Apsara arrived; that was gone as well. Shania tapped me on the shoulder and pantomimed that I could remove my earplugs. Doing so I was near overwhelmed by the sound of the gentle wind, the slapping of the rigging and the gentle lapping of water.
--"So," Shania asked. "Did I miss anything interesting?" She seemed less tense than before her long nap.
--"Much, yes. Krisskar is gone it seems. You appear to be feeling better though."
--Looking at me with a grimace Shania said glumly, "Sometimes I envy men."
--Lyra, ever sensitive to wind and wave, then appeared in the deckhouse. Going aft to work the power assisted winch she hauled out the mainsail, then the jib. I held the wheel steady and asked, "Course Captain?"
--Checking the chart by the red light of a small lantern, our good Captain ordered, "North by Northwest, Mr. Mingo if you please." And with that she turned the hourglass and made a note in the log book.
--Trimming the sails I steered the course, then announced. "I have to report a missing crew member, Captain."
--Lyra looked out at the empty deck, then left the enclosed deckhouse to go forward. I could see her bend down and pick up the odd raiment recently adorning the beautiful Apsara. She brought it back inside. "Krisskar will not be leaving us completely just yet," Captain Lyra stated.
--"How do you know that?" Shania asked. Then Shania and I followed Lyras hand which reached up to touch the massive walnut staff of Krisskar, lashed against the overhead.
--"I have a strong feeling we will see him again. Steer this course Mingo until the hour glass runs out, then wake me."
--Shania and I stood watch and I told her what I could of the Apsara, her fantastic dance and her...unusual appearance. There really wasn't much I could say.
--"I seem to remember, in possibly a former life, that Krisskar was always.....strange, and unpredictable," Shania told me.
--"Perhaps some day I will know more of him," I said (remember at the time of this story I did not yet know the backstory of Krisskar the Mage).
--"Perhaps," Shania said. "I am going to the head. Back in a few minutes; probably."
--As Terra and Ed were sound asleep on the benches in the deckhouse, and the others were below; I was once again alone with the stars, the shattered moon, and my thoughts and memories. The gentle wind was steady, making steering easy. I looked at the sea; heard the lapping of the water against the hull, and pondered the many unknowns in life.
--A long ago bardic circle came to my mind; memories of a bright fire on a cold night, burning in an iron brazier above the ground. I had sung a well received tune; old tune, Irish. It began
Believe me if all those endearing young charms; which I gaze on so fondly today. Were to fade by tomorrow and fleet in my arms; like Faerie gifts fading away. Thou would still be adored, as this moment thou art! Let thy lovliness fade, as it will. And around the dear ruin, each wish of my heart...would entwin itself verdantly still.
--There was a second verse, but I did not care to recall it. Smiling out at the sea I called softly, "Fair winds, Krisskar! May we meet again soon!"
--Then from the corner of my eye, a small yellow light on Krisskar's staff blinked.

 

Gerta came into the kitchen and looked at what Fireangel put into the icebox. "What the devil is that?"

The lady laughed at some private joke. "This, my dear Gerta, is Jello. You boil it first, and then you let it cool, and it's tasty with fruit inside, and some whipped cream on top."

"I see," Gerta said, though she seemed unsure. "Is this what you were doing during my ordeal?"

"Yes, and no," Fireangel responded with a wink. "I had it boiling, and was about to toss it across the floor. It's one of the most slippery concoctions ever made. Those brutes would have lost their footing." She shrugged, putting the bowl on a cold shelf. "On the other hand, Fire Lotus' interception has given us some lovely snacks."

 

(aboard PossumRose, an hour before dawn) --Fair weather sailing appealed to me. I began to wish I had a boat like this, and lived aboard full time. To myself I sighed, "Ah well." Again from the corner of my eye I saw that small light on Krisskar's staff blink....yellow. Securing the wheel I stepped aft and opened the door to the stern of the boat.
--The moon, although lower, still lit up the sea. In the distance following us I saw a reflection of the white lantern which shone from the stern of the boat....a reflection of two points, glittering, floating above the sea. Eyes, I reckoned. "Well follow on beastie," I muttered under my breath, linking it to the warning light in my mind. I determined to sail on for a bit before waking anyone.
--The hourglass ran low. Leaving the wheel locked I went below and woke our Captain, who roused up quickly. I returned to the helm and soon Lyra came up. The yellow light blinked, catching her notice. "Any idea what is causing that?" she asked me.
--"Sea dragon, following us," I answered in a voice so calm it disturbed me. Lyra pulled an odd tube from one of the many storage compartments aboard PossumRose and went aft. I watched as she extended the tube and held it to her eye; a telescope of coarse. Then she doused the stern lantern and returned to the deckhouse.
--Briefly taking a look at the chart, Lyra made a notation in the log and took the helm, changing our course. "Let's see if it keeps following us."
--I looked at Krisskar's staff, waiting for the next blink of yellow light. "Should I wake the others?" I asked.
--"Not yet," our Captain replied. "It isn't very big I'll warrant, judging by the distance between the eyes; about the size of PossumRose."
--The light on the staff had not blinked in a while. "Perhaps it has stopped following us," I surmised.
--"Why Mingo you old dog!," Lyra grinned. "Surmised? Your vocabulary exceeds expectations every time you elucidate! You even use the word properly!"
--"Well alliterated, Captain," I said with a bow. "I have given up on the sixth grade reading level. By the way, I like the way you are spelling 'PossumRose' now; in the logbook."
--In the distance a glow lit a point on the horizon. As we were headed basically westward, it was not the sunrise. "Feinantz," Lyra announced. "Take the helm again Mr. Mingo." She then took a bearing to the glow and worked at the chart table for a bit, measuring and drawing lines. "That time in the doldrums threw off my dead reckoning," she grumbled. "Must have been a current." Turning to me she asked, "How tired are you?"
--"I could sleep some," I admitted. "Now that the sea dragon seems to have broken off the chase."
--"Good. Our schedule has been delayed due to the dalliance of Krisskar and that....Apsara, or is Apsara her name? Anywho it will be mid morning I reckon before we reach our destination; if the wind holds. Go. Sleep a bit."
--"Aye aye Captain," I said with a smile and retreated to the forward cabin, making use of the head on the way.
--The gray light before dawn was just enough to cause the translucent glass in the hatch overhead to admit faint light into the cabin, but not enough to disturb me. I was quickly asleep.
--I dreamed.

 

(outside the story line) --I am just curious. If you are a reader, lurking in the shadows, would you be so kind as to post something to let me know you exist? I don't mind performing for small audiences, no indeed. Better a small crowd listening intently than a throng only half listening! All of us would like to "meet" you though, if you care to introduce yourself in the Fire Lotus Tavern setting.

 

(A short dream of Mingo TheBard)
--A friend and comrade from long ago, Mussop TheMage, went in with me to build a fantastic house on the Island of Moonglow, home to mages and the Elysium School. It was a fantastic, if small, house; with a three step waterfall. When inside the house, one could peer out through the falling water.
--On the ground level, exposed to the air though covered by the floor above, meticulously maintained Japanese gardens decorated the front; with carefully raked sand around the collection of rares from various adventures. Other rares adorned the upper balcony. It was a pleasant place.
--Mussop TheMage....he was older than me in the metaverse, although both he and I never traveled anywhere other than Sosaria (Chesapeake). A self effacing character, he once told me how his first action battle was against a rabbit...or maybe it was a chicken? Anywho, he lost....OOooOoOOoo... After that Mussop reshuffled his attibute points.
--We didn't interact much...seemingly missing each other by mere minutes. This made us perfect roomates! We would write our exploits and I took great pleasure reading his account, as I hope he did mine.
--It was a nice house....

 

*sighs* I love Moonglow Mingo! *smiles widely*
~Time Lord~

 

(In the Fire Lotus Tavern) --"So, that's the end of Part I?" Bov asked.
--"What!!?" I said in surprise, "certainly not! What makes you think so?"
--"Oh, it's common knowledge, as witnessed in the Great Bard's plays, that a sea change always affects the main character in a major way. This seems like a fitting place to transition from Part I to Part II."
--"You think Krisskar is the main character?" I said blinking.
--"Did you say 'blinking' ?" asked Gerta in confusion.
--"I heard him say blinking," FireAngel said nonchalantly.
--"Don't read too much into what I say!" I admonished our fine group, who seemed to trend more and more toward silliness at the moment.
--"I liked the Viking attack you described while Bov was dozing...." Time Lord said, rolling his eyes innocently.
--"What!! I missed the hated Vikings??" Bov said, reaching for a piece of firewood. "Let's just see about that," he grumbled. Time Lord just chuckled as Chariya elbowed him in the arm with a glare.
--"No weapons!" FireLotus commanded, taking the glare away from Chariya. "I didn't even know glares had elbows...."
--"Anywho," I said trying to regain control of the discourse. "Part II is a ways off. Maybe I'll make it an E book."
--The discourse then broke its leash and ran about causing pandemonium.
--"Nooooo! No Pandas!!" wailed FireAngel. "Oh my immersion!!!"

 

After confirming that Time Lord's words were nothing more than Longhorn excrements, Bodhbh deftly slung the log at the discourse, knocking it out, while simultaneously tripping Trend... He then grabbed both by their necks and threw them outside, earning him an approving glance from FireLotus and ushered Immersion back in to the room, making Fireangel smile.
Picking up the log he throws it in the fire, and before Time Lord realizes what is happening, he tickles Time Lord in the sides, which causes him to double over laughing, unable to defend himself, while Chariya encourages Bodhbh to continue, laughing out loud as well.
When Bodhbh stops, she admonishes a still giggling and panting Time Lord "that's your just due, my dear! You do take your jokes too far too often. And no revenge, mind you, or you'll be in the doghouse for sure!", and turning away from Time Lord she winks at the group, flashing a quick smile, which blinds half of the room, because their eyes are used to the dim common room, and the flash is really bright...

Blinking away the spots dotting his vision, Mingo looks around sheepishly, before letting out a bleet, to the astonishment and amusement of the entire group. Taken aback, he quickly hides his face behind a pitcher of beer...

 

(In the Fire Lotus Tavern) --After Chariya's flashing smile, I replay her dance routine in my mind...a couple of pages back. Pouring another mug of Dad's Root Beer from my pitcher I salute Bov with a wink. "Well written there!"
--"Time Lord was tickled," Bov replies, making Chariya chuckle.
--Blaquerogue pondered the green post from earlier on this page. "I was certain there were lurkers," he said. "Perhaps we here could advertise for our local bard, Mingo."
--"It is a long tale," FireAngel said, not realizing the running pun she introduced. Fortunately it ran out the door before anyone could make the obligatory comment. "Reading is sadly becoming something of a lost art."
--"Ah, but there is sooo much available now!" I said, using quote marks. "Often do I journey to my reading NOOK and peruse what can be found by searching 'free' ." At that I gaze fondly on my low tech ancient repository of stories. "Maybe someday I'll put something of my own in the store...." I mutter to myself.
--"ahem," FireLotus (not to be confused with FireAngel) says, attracting our attention. "While I may or may not actually be here, as I have much to do and am at many places simultaneously; I am glad that at least this small group is finding enjoyment in my Tavern!"
--"Indeed," I agree. "My joy at story telling is probably greater than that what any reader might receive. Thanks all!"

 

(aboard PossumRose) --I woke to the smell of bacon; and koffee. The ship had that unmistakable feel of being tied up at a dock; the fenders making that bouncing motion as they protect the hull from the dock. Although I usually wake slowly, such is not the case when I am aboard ship....probably a remnant from sleeping in smaller berths, with not enough space to turn over (I had to get out, turn over and get back in I recall).
--Stopping by the head first, I step out to find some already cooked bacon, and eggs, on the small galley stove. Helping myself I also pour a cup of koffee from the pot and take my breakfast up to the deckhouse, where I find everyone, save Krisskar, already there, finishing their own breakfasts.
--"Good morning!" Captain Lyra called cheerily. Normally I am not a morning person, and find such folks detestable. But it is impossible to do with such a sweet voice and happy person as Captain Lyra. I manage a small smile and greeting to my shipmates. Perhaps I have undergone a sea change from our voyage.
--Jeb, dressed once again in full armor, seems more at ease. Shania appears less haggard than in recent days, and I suspect our healer Lyra has had something to do with that.
--"What now?" Ed asks. "Here we are, and somewhere perhaps are the golden acorns which, maybe you remember, is the object of our quest."
--"Without a mage," Jeb said ponderously, rubbing his chin, "we are at a severe disadvantage.....but I think at least some scouting is in order."
--"I like that," agrees Shania. "Better to have some knowledge of the area before walking blindly into a trap!"
--Jeb scowls, "Yes, let's try to walk into traps with our eyes open in future."
--Shania stands and fades from sight. Small motions of the ship betray her movments as she steps off onto the stone dock. Lyra collects my dishes, and Terra the others, and takes them below. I am somewhat surprised they didn't make one of us men do the cleaning up; but then I realize the culture of this part of the metaverse is not so politically correct as others I have experienced......I can even compliment ladies without fear of reprisal!
--"I really am not sure about proceeding," Jeb reveals to Ed and myself.
--Ed says objectively, "We didn't do so badly against the Squirrels, even without our healer and mage."
--"It is possible," I say thoughtfully. "More difficult perhaps, but healers usually have some minor offensive abilities, and I have a mace as well as my harp."
--"Not to worry," a disembodied voice surprises us. "Our mage is returning."

 

"Very interesting...", said Gabriel, stroking his chin, "I wonder who the disembodied voice belongs too..."

"It wasn't you, was it, Chariya?", asked Carlin.

"No, silly!", laughed Chariya, "I wasn't even there!"

"You'll find out soon enough...", Mingo said, with a smile.

 

The lady did smile at Bodhbh Dearg's action. She stared at Immersion until they both felt uncomfortable. "You realize,..." Fireangel started, in half-voice, then let it drop. The others looked at her quizzically. "No, if I have to explain, it loses even more," she said with a laugh, and shook her head.

"I'm hungry now." The lady went into the kitchen, and made up some bacon, scrambled eggs, biscuits, and some milk gravy. It wasn't long before she returned with Gerta in tow, setting the table with a good meal. Gerta soon brought the coffee and cups for everyone. Fireangel brought in some orange juice and small glasses.

"Enjoy, or as they say in some parts of some worlds, bon appétit." She sat down and began to partake.

 

"It might be Shania, obviously, since she obviously stealthed herself" Bodhbh mused, "but knowing Mingo's tales by now, that'd be too easy an explanation, so I'm just going to RAFO!", he quoted another bard...

 

"That was absolutely delicious!", said Gabriel, as he finished his meal and turned to Fireangel, " All of my favorite breakfast foods were prepared so well. My compliments to the chef!"

Time Lord had wolfed down his meal in record time and now looked a little green

"I don't feel too well...", he said, clutching his stomach.

"I told you not to eat so fast!", admonished Chariya, "You may now have the body of a ten year old, but that's no excuse for acting like one!"